I would say that the biggest problem with this poem is that it's very hard to keep it on track; I have in mind that this is supposed to a librarian planning a life of crime. So some of the flights of fancy kind of work, if you accept that the guy (or woman, I haven't decided) is out of their depth and is a bit unfamiliar with the real world, but even so it would be nice if I could get them at least close to the airport! And it's not the prompts's fault, before you suggest it, it's purely that the structure requires so much repetition that there's not a lot you can do to advance the story in a verse, and the nature of the repetition ties you into paths you might otherwise avoid :)
By the way, nice work on the year-long; I have no idea where we're going to take that next month but there's plenty to work with! And it seems, at least for the moment, that the blood is explained (in part) and the mystery is resolving (just a touch)!
Rejuvenation Aren’t detectives like glue traps? I’m thinking quite fast I need a disguise that makes me look younger. My time as detective simply won’t last ‘Cos that’s just not making the hot ladies hunger.
Greg - yeah, I absolutely agree about the repetition issue. I shall make some attempt at steering things back in the direction of the airport!
Thanks. I have some thoughts on where to go next, though I have absolutely no end goal in mind at this point. And I'm fairly certain my sister was hoping for a zombie story, so I intend to give her one.
Okay, that final line was definitely unexpected. This might be the most random yearlong project yet!
2 comments:
I would say that the biggest problem with this poem is that it's very hard to keep it on track; I have in mind that this is supposed to a librarian planning a life of crime. So some of the flights of fancy kind of work, if you accept that the guy (or woman, I haven't decided) is out of their depth and is a bit unfamiliar with the real world, but even so it would be nice if I could get them at least close to the airport! And it's not the prompts's fault, before you suggest it, it's purely that the structure requires so much repetition that there's not a lot you can do to advance the story in a verse, and the nature of the repetition ties you into paths you might otherwise avoid :)
By the way, nice work on the year-long; I have no idea where we're going to take that next month but there's plenty to work with! And it seems, at least for the moment, that the blood is explained (in part) and the mystery is resolving (just a touch)!
Rejuvenation
Aren’t detectives like glue traps? I’m thinking quite fast
I need a disguise that makes me look younger.
My time as detective simply won’t last
‘Cos that’s just not making the hot ladies hunger.
Greg - yeah, I absolutely agree about the repetition issue. I shall make some attempt at steering things back in the direction of the airport!
Thanks. I have some thoughts on where to go next, though I have absolutely no end goal in mind at this point. And I'm fairly certain my sister was hoping for a zombie story, so I intend to give her one.
Okay, that final line was definitely unexpected. This might be the most random yearlong project yet!
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