The exercise:
I'll admit that this was more writing therapy than writing practice but I think it was a healthy session regardless. Today's topic: how would you regulate cell phone use in public?
Mine:
Oh if I ruled the world, how different things would be. For starters, that man at the next table talking so loudly into his cell phone that everyone in Starbucks can hear him would be in jail. If he happened to suffer some police brutality along the way, all the better.
I'm not being unreasonable here, he is. He's the one who thinks so much of himself that everyone here needs to know how "fucking bullshit" the raw deal his buddy got was. Or what day of the week he's planning on dumping his girlfriend. I just want to eat my sugar-infused snack in peace.
I think I'd call the law he's breaking Disturbing The Peace Through Cell Phone Use. Minimum penalty: loss of cell phone rights for a month and a small fine. Maximum penalty: removal of vocal chords.
In my world talking is a privilege, not a right. If you can't be trusted to use your voice in a reasonable manner, Dr. Yankemout will be paying you a visit shortly.
The harshest penalties would be saved for those who indulge in personal, not in the least bit urgent cell phone conversations in confined spaces, such as buses, planes and movie theaters. Trust me, Brit can wait to hear about the fab new shoes you just bought and we don't care - call her back.
I'd also institute a warning system in order to be fair, lest my people worry that I am an unjust ruler. I would introduce mandatory Shockem (TM) technology in all new cell phones. That way whenever one of my citizens is being subjected to one side of a loud, personal, public conversation they can simply press the Shockem (TM) button on their phone and the offending party will receive a small electric shock through their cell. If the behavior isn't corrected after three Shockems (TM), the proper authorities will be notified.
All at the press of a button! My people will not suffer from lack of convenience.
If you think me harsh my friends then let me say this: you should hear my policies for rapists and pedophiles.
1 comment:
I read an article a couple years ago about something similar to that. Some invention that people can use to end the conversation that person is having. The downside though is that any cell phones nearby will face the same penalty of being automatically turned off for a few hours or so.
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