Saturday January 15th, 2011

The exercise:

A four line poem about: nests.

Because when we took off the old light fixture above the front porch this morning we discovered a nest crammed full of wasps. Thankfully they were all either dead or barely awake, but it was still rather startling. I have no idea how they managed to get back there.

Mine:

Little Bobby is not so little now -
He's married with kids and living out west.
This house doesn't feel like a home these days,
Just a big old crumbling empty nest.

5 Comments:

Greg said...

I've heard that wasps can squeeze through quite small gaps, but they've clearly outdone themselves in your case! This was definitely the right time of year to find that, too.
A quick note about my tale yesterday, since a few people mentioned it: the thirteenth guest is traditionally supposed to be the Devil, and it's bad luck to lay a table for thirteen people.
A nice, slightly sentimental poem today! I've read it a few times, and I think it might read a little more smoothly if you dropped "crumbling" in the last line. What do you think?

Nests
"Tell me, Sir, what do you call this?
This mess of twigs and hot sour gloop?"
"That Sir, is our special'ty,
Traditional birds' nest soup."

Zhongming said...

Nest

I once lived in a place fully isolated,
It makes me feel safe and warm,
It represent the love of my parents,
Yet i can't recognize my first home.

dumbricht said...

@marc After your story of the wasps, expected a poem full of dread. Maybe that's exactly what it is.

@Greg now I'm hungry. I love poems that make me feel something.

@zhongming sweet and nostalgic and extremely bittersweet. Great work

I haven't written a poem in years (perhaps ever). Here it goes:

White flakes cover the lonesome nest
Buried in the storm
Pray the owners have fled
Away to a better life.

summerfield said...

There are things in my garden that you can't touch
First the roses and wisterias, the dahlias and irises
The ivies and impatience, as well as the costas
And in the sweet peas, you'll find the viper's nest.

---
lame, you say? i agree.

Marc said...

Greg - hmm, I think you're right about removing 'crumbling'. Thanks!

Love the phrase 'hot sour gloop' :)

Zhongming- beautiful!

Dumbricht - well then, you've come to the right place for practice :)

I think you really captured that scene in your four lines. Very nicely done.

Summerfield - lame? Says who? Not me!I like how unexpected that last line is :)