Saturday January 29th, 2011

The exercise:

Kat and I are on the road this morning to Kelowna, where we'll catch our flight to Toronto. In my absence, your assignment is to write a four line poem about the word: charge.

See you guys on Valentine's Day :)

I was going to type, 'Wear something nice.', but then decided it was more creepy than funny. Now I'm thinking it's a tie.

Note: I'm away on my honeymoon so this is a scheduled post.

Mine:

My thoughts are all twisted in knots,
Stress is clogging my arteries.
Skin scarred by all the wars I've fought,
It's time to charge my batteries.

5 Comments:

David said...

From yesterday - @zhongming - I've said it before, but it must be repeated, I love the spiritual tone to a lot of your work. It gives the most simple pieces a great deal of depth.

From today - @Marc - impossible to separate your trip from your poem - although your narrator may need it more than you.

Here's mine:

Perched above the camp
Readying an assault
Fearing death
Charge

Zhongming said...

Marc - that’s very evocative! Great work!

David - thanks!

I like the soldier’s point of view! Excellent!

---
Here's mine:

Charge

Life is short.
Do what you can.
Make it worthwhile.
Charge with your mind!

summerfield said...

charge

and the judge in disdain sees the verdict
that is decided by the tired jury
so the charge has now been dropped
and the criminal goes free.

Greg said...

@David: I really like the way the structure of your poem leads to the urgency of the last line. The steadily shortening lines (both in word count and length) bring an air of finality to that last Charge and the lack of punctuation suggests inevitability and resignation. All in four lines!

@Zhongming: Curiously you've gone for the exact opposite structure to David, and a mental rather than physical theme, and I think it works. Certainly where it is, ready to be contrasted with David's is superb.

@Summerfield: There's a weariness about your whole poem that suggests that the judge's arrogance is something that's so often repeated it's scarcely worth getting upset about. I really like the way it starts with and, as though there's much more before this but it wasn't worth mentioning. And, of course, that's a lovely take on the prompt.

@Marc: Is there a chance that your impending honeymoon was influencing your thoughts while you were writing this? ;-) The analogies are beautiful, making mental things physical. I'm not sure that arteries and batteries rhyme with my (British) pronunciation, but I like it anyway!

Charge
The charge on one electron,
Is only just enough,
To strike a single spark,
And bring someone to love.

Marc said...

David - yes, I think you're exactly right. The narrator could have been me a few years ago though :)

Loved the descending word count, it really worked well with the content.

Zhongming - 'charge with your mind'... I like that :)

Summerfield - I have a feeling that scene plays out far too often.

Greg - yes, well, obviously you're pronouncing it wrong :P

Beautiful poem.