Friday February 25th, 2011

The exercise:

Four lines of prose about: the hitman.

Just finished watching In Bruges on Netflix and had to continue the theme of the evening. We recently signed up for the free one month trial and so far it's looking like we'll keep with it once the monthly payments start. It's hard to argue with the price and convenience.

Kat's in Vancouver this weekend for a workshop, so I'm home alone, sick, with a whole lot of Netflix movies I haven't seen. I think I can predict my weekend's activities pretty safely.

Mine:

The gun in his pocket felt heavier than usual as he approached the train station. He told himself that was nonsense, that he was only imagining it, but his steps slowed all the same. As he drew to a halt twenty feet from the entrance, he looked around, trying to figure out what was happening.

And the little voice in the back of his head told him for a final time, "You shouldn't have taken this job."

3 Comments:

Greg said...

Featured? On Protagonize? Me??
Wow, and for Worms as well, which I thought would get a fair amount of criticism from everyone who read it. I'm glad I decided to put it up there now!
Thanks for whatever role you played in that -- I've spotted your page markers for it now :)
I've never seen In Bruges, but I'm guessing it inspired the prompt and influenced your writing today. I love it though, it's such a good start to something. I'm all ready for the first cross of the triple cross that's bound to be going on!

The Hitman
Dr. Septopus stared into the yellow, mad eyes of the Supervillain known as the The Coyote and wondered why he was still alive.
"You're a hitman," he said, stuttering all the hard consonants in the cold.
"I prefer lone wolf," said the Coyote picking his teeth with a black claw-shaped fingernail. "I so very rarely hit people."

Heather said...

Marc- I swear your taunting me with your prompts. What happened to pink elephants and flying pigs?

Interesting four lines. I like that you let the reader decide if it is a literal voice or figurative voice speaking in the last line.

Greg- Congrats on the spotlight! I will have to find some time to check out these Wroms of yours. I wonder, will Dr. Septopus ever be free?

I needed more than 4 lines to do well what I hoped I could do in these few lines. I think it is missing the key to making it work. All well. C'est la vie.
-------

He sat in the waiting area with the other men, a newspaper opened on his lap and the tools of his profession in the briefcase next to him. Each time the door to the inner office opened, he would look up and watch a man leave, disappointment in his eyes and a courteous smile on his lips. He knew he had something they didn't: the truth of what his masterpiece would lead to and the evidence to support his claim. Sharing the future consequences of a decision was often more deadly than a well placed bullet.

Marc said...

Greg - a fair amount of criticism? God, you're worse than I am :P

I actually had nothing to do with it, though - Nick picked that one all on his own.

I like a hitman that refrains from actually hitting :)

Heather - taunting? Moi? Never.

I like your take on the prompt, it's a very clever twist. I could see it being expanded to a few more lines, but I definitely like what you've managed with just four. Great final line!