Tuesday February 8th, 2011

The exercise:

Two haiku about: the bartender.

Note: I'm away on my honeymoon so this is a scheduled post.


Puffing a cigar,
his knuckles covered with scars -
the king of this bar.

*     *     *

He mixes cocktails
the way he likes his women -
it's all about looks.


Zhongming said...

Marc - two great haikus! I like both. The first one had a great visual about the bartender while the second took a zoom into his inner mind. :)


The bartender

Alcohol and wine.
Mix and shake, bottle dancing.
Techno just won't stop.


Bar priority.
Jazz music stabilize soul.
Fantastic control.

g2 (la pianista irlandesa) said...

I'm going to be rebellious and use half of the prompt: About a bartender, but not a haiku.
- - - - - - - - - -
When you're in my position, you end up being privy to a number of things.

I've had snatches of life stories spun out before me, not really knowing what was gospel truth and what was fiction, and not really caring. I've seen plans of all kinds being made or broken, be it anything from plotting how best to approach that nice-looking girl across the bar to scheming the biggest racket this town's ever seen. I've probably borne witness to the start of some crime boss's career; hey, as long as I'm still in business, just so long as they pay their tab and don't make a scene, it's fine by me.

It's interesting to me: if I put together all the stuff I heard in a week in a book, it wouldn't surprise me much to see it become a bestseller. A shocking bestseller, one folks would wonder if it was true or not, but they'd still be interested.

I don't know if everything I hear is true myself.

What's also interesting is that the things I hear are often things the speaker wouldn't dare tell their brother, mother, or significant other, but they seem to be fine with a total stranger hearing it.

They probably don't mind, so long as I keep their glass full and my mouth shut.

morganna said...

Just one haiku here:

Steely eyed and grim
He's seen it all from his bar
No surprises for him.

David said...

Great work everyone - most captured the dark nature of the bar. Zhongming, I liked your first as it captured the light fun side of a club.

Here are mine:

I’ve heard it all twice
She was the best one ever
Who’s the blonde right there?

One more for the road
Another to help forget
You can’t understand

Greg said...

@Zhongming: I think David has it right when he says that you've managed to capture the fun side of a club. I like your first haiku better.

@g2: Your tale is well-written, but it's a familiar story and I was a little disappointed that you didn't make it your own in the end.

@morganna: Your bartender sounds like he's not the listening type! I can imagine him in a western-style saloon somewhere, with a firearm beneath the bar.

@David: There are recriminations in your haiku that I rather like. The second one is better written, I feel, but I prefer the emotion in the first.

@Marc: Your second haiku made me smile, so that's my favourite this time round. The first one is a good one too though.

The bartender
Red and Ben in here?
I'd rather host a bull-fight!
Tell them that we've closed.


Bartender? I thought
I was training to be a
Barrista. Coffee?

g2 (la pianista irlandesa) said...

@ Greg: I know, it's not the most original thing I've done, and I've been in a writing rut lately so I felt like I had to get something, anything, down, but I appreciate your honesty.

Zhongming said...

g2 - I like it even though it's not original but I do share Greg's view as well. I like especially the rebellious thought of yours and I think you did great, well done!

Greg - thanks. bar in the cage for your first? That's what come into my mind when I first read it. And your second haiku made me smile :)

David - thanks. I think I like the deep thoughts of your haikus today especially your second haiku :)

Morgana - great picture there! :)

summerfield said...

hello everybody! i've come from the deep freeze that is toronto.

my, everyone's working hard, except me. but actually, i've been writing, it's just something that i can post either here or on my blog. but i'm writing, i swear!

the bartender

i'm a bartender
fixing drinks for sad egos
and the lonely souls


hand me your car keys
can't give you anymore booze
let's call you a cab

Thinkenstein said...

For tips and for dreams
She serves a drink and a smile
Tips and drinks are real

What keeps me in here?
Cold beer or listening ears?
I think it's the beer.

Marc said...

Zhongming - thank you! I really like your first one :)

g2 - you know I don't mind when people stray from the prompt - I'm just happy they're writing :)

I like your bartender and wouldn't mind hearing more from him. Or her.

Morganna - sometimes one is all that is needed. Nicely done :)

David - really like your second one, you definitely captured the sentiment there.

Greg - have to go with your first as my favorite :D

Summerfield - as long as you're writing I can't complain :)

Really like your first one.

Thinkenstein - hello and welcome to the blog! Thanks for sharing your writing with us :)

Two great haiku. I think the final line in the first one makes it my favorite of the two, but it's a close call.