Write about: the guru.
Definitely felt the worst I have so far today. Wasn't bedridden or anything like that... but I wouldn't have minded being at a couple of points.
The weather is gradually warming up, the snow is slowly melting away. Spring is coming... it's just taking its sweet frickin' time.
"Yes, my child?"
"Uh... okay. I was wondering if you could give me a hand with this thing I'm working on - I hear you're the expert around here."
"Of course, my child."
"... right. So, um, can you swing by my cubicle now or is this not a good time?"
"My child, I do not move from my wisdom seat. You must bring your troubles to me, for I cannot go to them."
"Okay, sure. I guess I'll bring my laptop by in a few minutes then, yeah?"
"I look forward to parting the obscuring clouds of confusion for you, my child, in order to place into your hands the full power of Excel."