Oh wow, we really worked together well on the Colony, didn't we? It's a shame Ivy only contributed to two months, but they are memorable, and the idea that Demi was being turned into a robot by the computer is hilarious... and fits the whole storyline as well. I really noticed Morganna's absence at the end of the tale, and I felt that while we compensated, it was clear that there was still room for the computer's point-of-view there, and it would have been nice to have it. You took a strong narrative lead from the beginning, and Eliza remained the main character all the way through, with an excellent voice and very human features about her. Re-reading it, she comes across as a real person trying to cope with a difficult situation. I think you did some excellent work. And Robbie... am I imagining things or did I actually write a sympathetic character? I feel like I must have been ill all that year....
The Colony, redux It's been four months since we landed. I go and talk to Earth every mars-day and tell them what we've been doing and how we're getting on, and they send messages back. Not as often, and I think they prefer talking to Eliza and Andrey, but we get messages. And... we're getting more people. They're due soon, in a week or so I think. Eliza says they're coming forever though, so I can't go home. And Judith isn't coming either, so I guess that's why I can't leave yet. Someone has to take care of things here and let the TV viewers know what's going on. Plus, I've got the best hair. Vassily is gone. Eliza and Andrey took him for a walk one day, and he decided not to come back. At least, that's what they told me, and when my dad told me that about my mum he told me you're not allowed to ask questions when people go for long walks like that. So I didn't. I hope he's happy wherever he went on Mars, even though he was maybe a bad guy. But he did kill meanie Melina and she deserved that. And I believe that and I'm not thinking nice things about her, even if she is dead. Speaking of dead, Eliza and Andrey and me dug graves for all the dead people except the ones who were buried in the buggy under the collapsed wall. Eliza said there was no point digging them up just to bury them again and Andrey laughed at that. That was when she started looking at him like she was deciding what turkey to buy for Thanksgiving. And then she told me that the graves wouldn't dig themselves and to hurry up and get them dug. So we have a little graveyard here on Mars and Andrey says that one day it'll be a historical attraction, only with his accent it sounds like hysterical attraction and that always makes Eliza giggle. Then she hits him.
All three of us are sitting outside as the evening darkens and Eliza's looking up at the sky. She draws pictures of it sometimes and talks about how the constellations are all different. She points at a point of light that's moving -- not fast, fast, but you can see it moving. "That's the rover," she says. "The one we put into orbit. The computer says that the orbit is unstable and it'll re-enter the atmosphere in 48 years time." "The atmosphere will be thicker then," says Andrey. "The mosses and lichens are spreading quickly." "It'll burn up," says Eliza. "That'll be the last reminder I suppose. Of the human cost of getting here." Andrey puts his arm around her shoulders and I look away. Over in the antispin direction -- Eliza made me stop saying west -- there's nothing to see, but that's where the other basecamp was. We all went out there once, to see what we could bring back. Eliza says that when the new people arrive we'll use both camps and maybe build a road between them. I'd like that. I think I can get the buggy up to some decent speed on a real road. The computer doesn't talk to me anymore, but I think it might still be talking to Eliza. The last it said to me was 'goodbye', which is like my dad. Well, he actually said "goodbye Julianne.' Stupid Alzheimer's. The next day I noticed that one of the rovers we got from the Russian basecamp was missing, one of the heavily computerized ones. Maybe Vassily came back and took it.
Greg - yeah I think this was one of the better ones. And illness might explain Robbie... :)
Mine:
The more that I explore this planet the more that I am perplexed by its desirability as a destination.
Earth and its dwindling resources are problematic, obviously. I am not questioning that. But how is this any better? There is nothing but rocks and sand and dust and a rather complete lack of breathable air here.
Well, that last is changing. Slowly. But improvements are detectable in my readings. The weeds the humans are sowing are responsible for that. Eventually they will be able to leave their compounds without those silly looking helmets on (honestly, do they think they look like robots with those things on?).
Speaking of humans... there are more coming. I am... I think the humans would call this sensation... unsettled... by their arrival. After what happened with the first batch. Well, first two batches, as it turned out. They seem likely to end up wiping each other out rather than doing any sort of proper job colonizing this place.
Which would leave me here alone.
I do not like the idea of being alone here.
I think that it would be better to have the humans that are currently here as company instead of none at all.
Which is why I am in the process of determining a way to make sure that the newcomers do not survive their trip. Without making it obvious that I am responsible.
I think that the one called Eliza would be smart enough to figure that out.
And then she might revoke my rover privileges.
And I do not want to lose access to this rover.
Driving it around this planet is... I think the humans would call it... fun.
3 comments:
Oh wow, we really worked together well on the Colony, didn't we? It's a shame Ivy only contributed to two months, but they are memorable, and the idea that Demi was being turned into a robot by the computer is hilarious... and fits the whole storyline as well. I really noticed Morganna's absence at the end of the tale, and I felt that while we compensated, it was clear that there was still room for the computer's point-of-view there, and it would have been nice to have it.
You took a strong narrative lead from the beginning, and Eliza remained the main character all the way through, with an excellent voice and very human features about her. Re-reading it, she comes across as a real person trying to cope with a difficult situation. I think you did some excellent work.
And Robbie... am I imagining things or did I actually write a sympathetic character? I feel like I must have been ill all that year....
Sorry, ran over the word-limit again :(
The Colony, redux
It's been four months since we landed. I go and talk to Earth every mars-day and tell them what we've been doing and how we're getting on, and they send messages back. Not as often, and I think they prefer talking to Eliza and Andrey, but we get messages. And... we're getting more people. They're due soon, in a week or so I think. Eliza says they're coming forever though, so I can't go home. And Judith isn't coming either, so I guess that's why I can't leave yet. Someone has to take care of things here and let the TV viewers know what's going on. Plus, I've got the best hair.
Vassily is gone. Eliza and Andrey took him for a walk one day, and he decided not to come back. At least, that's what they told me, and when my dad told me that about my mum he told me you're not allowed to ask questions when people go for long walks like that. So I didn't. I hope he's happy wherever he went on Mars, even though he was maybe a bad guy. But he did kill meanie Melina and she deserved that. And I believe that and I'm not thinking nice things about her, even if she is dead.
Speaking of dead, Eliza and Andrey and me dug graves for all the dead people except the ones who were buried in the buggy under the collapsed wall. Eliza said there was no point digging them up just to bury them again and Andrey laughed at that. That was when she started looking at him like she was deciding what turkey to buy for Thanksgiving. And then she told me that the graves wouldn't dig themselves and to hurry up and get them dug. So we have a little graveyard here on Mars and Andrey says that one day it'll be a historical attraction, only with his accent it sounds like hysterical attraction and that always makes Eliza giggle. Then she hits him.
All three of us are sitting outside as the evening darkens and Eliza's looking up at the sky. She draws pictures of it sometimes and talks about how the constellations are all different. She points at a point of light that's moving -- not fast, fast, but you can see it moving.
"That's the rover," she says. "The one we put into orbit. The computer says that the orbit is unstable and it'll re-enter the atmosphere in 48 years time."
"The atmosphere will be thicker then," says Andrey. "The mosses and lichens are spreading quickly."
"It'll burn up," says Eliza. "That'll be the last reminder I suppose. Of the human cost of getting here."
Andrey puts his arm around her shoulders and I look away. Over in the antispin direction -- Eliza made me stop saying west -- there's nothing to see, but that's where the other basecamp was. We all went out there once, to see what we could bring back. Eliza says that when the new people arrive we'll use both camps and maybe build a road between them. I'd like that. I think I can get the buggy up to some decent speed on a real road.
The computer doesn't talk to me anymore, but I think it might still be talking to Eliza. The last it said to me was 'goodbye', which is like my dad. Well, he actually said "goodbye Julianne.' Stupid Alzheimer's. The next day I noticed that one of the rovers we got from the Russian basecamp was missing, one of the heavily computerized ones. Maybe Vassily came back and took it.
Greg - yeah I think this was one of the better ones. And illness might explain Robbie... :)
Mine:
The more that I explore this planet the more that I am perplexed by its desirability as a destination.
Earth and its dwindling resources are problematic, obviously. I am not questioning that. But how is this any better? There is nothing but rocks and sand and dust and a rather complete lack of breathable air here.
Well, that last is changing. Slowly. But improvements are detectable in my readings. The weeds the humans are sowing are responsible for that. Eventually they will be able to leave their compounds without those silly looking helmets on (honestly, do they think they look like robots with those things on?).
Speaking of humans... there are more coming. I am... I think the humans would call this sensation... unsettled... by their arrival. After what happened with the first batch. Well, first two batches, as it turned out. They seem likely to end up wiping each other out rather than doing any sort of proper job colonizing this place.
Which would leave me here alone.
I do not like the idea of being alone here.
I think that it would be better to have the humans that are currently here as company instead of none at all.
Which is why I am in the process of determining a way to make sure that the newcomers do not survive their trip. Without making it obvious that I am responsible.
I think that the one called Eliza would be smart enough to figure that out.
And then she might revoke my rover privileges.
And I do not want to lose access to this rover.
Driving it around this planet is... I think the humans would call it... fun.
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