Tuesday November 2nd, 2010

The exercise:

Two haiku about: left behind.

Writing is going pretty well so far today, though I'm still concerned about tomorrow. Oh well, I might just have to use up this lead I'm building up and then work on restoring it later in the week.

It is absolutely gorgeous outside today. The fall colors are out in full force and the sun is shining. I'm going to do some work outside and take full advantage of it while it lasts.

Update: day two is in the bag. Also: the subfloor is now completely installed.

Mine:

All of the others
have already been chosen...
What is wrong with me?

*     *     *

All alone, only
this black night for company,
I smile happily.

8 Comments:

summerfield said...

marc, i read your first chapter and second. very impressive. when i grow up, i would like to be able to write like you. :-) i believe that the true test of a good writing is when you can be in the place where the action happens, and that's exactly how i felt reading your day one. wow! i tell you i could smell the bacon and i think when Gerald dusted the crumbs off his clothes, i got some of them in my hair, damnit! can't wait to read the next one. keep it up!

-o0o-
left behind

my sister marries
the man of her dreams and more
leaving me and home.


solitary leaf
left clinging to its frail branch
soon there'll be the snow.

Watermark said...

summerfield: lovely!! Both of them flow and complement each other. I think your second haiku is my favourite!

marc: I read your day one and it was such a good read!! Can't wait to read day 2 right after I put in my day's worth of writing. I've been struggling but it should hopefully pick up soon!

Left behind

An ode to being,
alone -
for those who are left behind.

-----

Sweet and mellow
Freedom hit by fear –
Left behind.

Greg said...

@summerfield: there's a definite melancholy to your haiku today, but I rather like it. The second one is beautiful.

@watermark: good luck with your writing! There's not much to choose between your poems I think, but the second one just has an edge for me.

@anonymous: I think you may have missed the point of a creative writing site... that, and we can't post pictures in the comments!

@marc: Sounds like you're having a great start to autumn! I'm quite envious (especially after seeing that Fall in the Orchard picture at last yesterday!). I may have to wait till the weekend to get up to speed with your Novel it seems; works is being... demanding.
I love your first haiku, and the second one's very good too!

Left behind
Silence tells me that
You've gone on ahead again.
I need your comfort.

------

The seaside beckons,
My troubles, for two long weeks,
Are all left behind.

Zhongming said...

Marc – Fantastic writing for day two just like day one! It’s like watching Hollywood movie, can’t find a better way to describe it, what great quality! Your two haikus are fabulous! Love both of them!

Summerfield – I think I share the same sentiments as you. Can’t wait to see next one too! Excellent haikus! I had both of them quarantine to my list especially your second!

Watermark - Excellent haikus! Your second one is brilliant so it’s my favorite! Good luck on your nanowrimo challenge and where can I find your nanowrimo writings?

Anonymous – totally agreed with Greg :)

Greg – wow, brilliant haikus! I love both of them!

Left Behind
Memories of you
That I’ve forgotten is
Truly left behind.

---

I choose to follow
My heart and soul
And leave the rest behind.

morganna said...

Field Trip
Feet dragging, head down
Trudging towards the line of kids
The walk was too long.

Last again, Johnny?
The jeer sounded down the road
A tear ran down.

Marc said...

Note: I deleted the anonymous comment due to its obvious spammerness. Feel free to ignore those sorts of comments when they get past the spam filter, I'll be deleting them as soon as I see them.

Summerfield - thank you very much, you're too kind.

Love both your haiku today, I can't manage to pick a favorite!

Watermark - thanks! I hope the words begin to flow a bit easier for you soon. It's all about momentum, as best I can tell.

I think I like your second one best, but it's a close race :)

Greg - I hope work becomes less demanding soon.

Two great haiku, and again I'm finding it difficult to pick a favorite.

Zhongming - thanks, I kind of have it in my head as Disney movie, so that's the kind of response I'm looking for :)

That's a fantastic second poem, definitely my favorite.

Morganna - nice, they both paint a vivid picture in such little space! :)

Doug said...

Frosted barren fields

Far flocks following the wind

Single bird calling



Quick steps on poor shoes

Paving bricks under water

Aching left behind

Marc said...

Doug - that first haiku is beautiful. I liked the second one as well, but I just keep re-reading the first.

Thanks for stopping by and sharing that with us. I hope to see more from you :)