Friday October 21st, 2011

The exercise:

Four lines of prose about: the impact.

Because Kat and I watched No Impact Man tonight. It's impressive what can be accomplished when you set your mind to it.

The penultimate market of the season is tomorrow morning. Hopefully the rain they're calling for doesn't materialize.

Mine:

It was impossible not to feel the impact of his presence the moment he walked into a room. Heads turned, conversations crumbled to dust, spines straightened. You could set your watch by the response.

Yet somehow he never saw it for himself.

6 Comments:

Greg said...

Good luck with keeping the rain away!
As a side note, this usage note about impact is quite interesting; I thought the verb use of impact was well established (and indeed, it dates back to the 1600s) so I was astonished to find that some people seem to have difficulty with that!
Your story... you're talking about Henri, aren't you? ;-)

The impact
The bullet passed through the wires suspending the steel spheres, describing a straight line that somehow, surely miraculously, failed to cut a single one of them. If you were capable of riding the bullet, and thus of seeing its passage up close, you'd have been able to see how finely drawn that line was; one wire vibrated faintly, a mid-C whining as it passed. At the far end of the room, where Dr. Monsanto stood annotating a gene chart, the bullet finally had an impact.
It struck Dr. Monsanto's cat's skull, who yawned in surprise, patted at its head with a sooty paw, and fell over, bouncing on the floor.

world of experience said...

Impact

The fluffy, downy fur of her Teddy bear made a soft impact against her cheek as she hugged it. Whilst changing lanes, she threw Teddy down on the passenger seat of her car where he thudded with a dull impact on the leather trim.
Her distraction whilst driving led her into a skid on the slippery road and she screamed but it sounded hollow as she broadsided into the car in front in the deadly, crushing impact of metal on metal.
Teddy, not wearing a seatbelt, was thrown clear and made a soft impact as he hit the bitumen, his dead, glassy eyes staring into the sky.

Marc said...

Greg - if you keep asking for Henri, you're bound to get him eventually :P

Loved the description of the flight of the bullet.

World of Exp. - I really liked how you started and ended with the focus on the teddy. Nicely tied the whole piece together.

world of experience said...

Marc,
Ta. I felt inspired. I am enjoying these daily exercises!

Drake Davenport said...

The shot fired, and time seemed to slow down. It was almost as if I could see the bullet barreling towards me. Can bullets barrel? This thought that quickly flickered across my mind seemed pointless once the point of the bullet impacted my skin, tearing into my flesh, driving itself straight through my heart, and letting out fresh warm blood in its wake.

Marc said...

Drake - that totally sounds like something I'd think in that situation :)