Tuesday October 18th, 2011

The exercise:

Two haiku about: allergies.

After tweaking a muscle this morning I thought it would be a good idea to take the rest of the day to rest. I'm glad I did. I even got some writing done over on Protagonize on a story I'd left hanging for far too long.

That means it's your turn again, Greg :)


Red eyes, runny nose -
all the signs are here, my dear.
Your love makes me sick.

*     *     *

Dinner at sea is
a bad time to discover
shellfish allergies


David said...

Marc - love the first one. Works so well on both the physical and emotional level.

Shock to the system
The anaphylactic kind
Eyes close, goodbye now

Two million dollars
She tastes nuts in her cookie
He wants her to die

Greg said...

Well, I reckon that so as not to make you or Gabriel feel bad, I'm going to have to wait four months before I can post... so I'll just have to make you both feel bad :)
I am stupid-busy at work at the moment though, so it might be the weekend before I can add.
I think I prefer your second haiku today, but mostly because I think you've done the theme of the first one before somewhere... it seems oddly familiar somehow.

All my allergies
Cause me to sniffle and sneeze,
Bring me to my knees.


Allergic to the
Electricity supply,
I've gone Amish now!

Marc said...

David - thanks :)

Both of yours are good, but I like the story represented by the second one best.

Greg - stupid busy is never fun; I hope things settle down soon.

I agree, it does feel familiar now that you mention it. But it wasn't in haiku form, as I just browsed through all my previous ones. Hmm, I am stumped.

The rhyming in the first one makes it really fun to read aloud, but the second one made me laugh... so it's a tie this week :)

Drake Davenport said...

I love that first haiku. It's a great connection. Love sick - allergies.

Blowing out the snot,
Drop after drop after drop.
Will I ne'er run dry?


I don't want to see,
Nor do I wan to hear you.
You make me feel sick.

Marc said...

Drake - thanks!

That first haiku perfectly expresses how I feel when I have a runny nose. Seriously, how much snot can one nose produce?