Friday March 23rd, 2012

The exercise:

Movie week bumps into Four Line Prose Friday with: Unforgiven.

It was another ridiculously beautiful day here. Spent most of it outside. Spent a portion of my inside time with the door open. This is good stuff.

Managed to get the first of our three greenhouse benches constructed this afternoon. Planning on getting at least the second one done tomorrow.

Mine:

The noise in the station is like the buzzing of insects to my ear; there are too many voices for me to understand any of it. I glide from room to room, holding cell to holding cell, until I find four disheveled men slumped around a shared cell, not speaking or even looking at one another.

After studying each of them for several minutes apiece, I realize that at last I'm feeling something.

And that something is rage.

11 Comments:

Greg said...

That does sound like a beautiful day! This morning here it's cold and crisp and blue-skied and quiet and absolutely perfect. The day will warm up and get noisier, I know, but right now it's almost perfect.
Ah, when I saw the title today I thought I might know where your narrator would go next. This is an eerie little ghost story really!

Unforgiven
"Mentally unstable," they keep saying, like it should mean something. "He didn't really know what he was doing."
Why should I care? I won't forgive him because he didn't know what he was doing.

writebite said...

Unforgiven

Shirley’s daughter, Lucy, dropped by to pick up the last of her mother’s things, most  of which would be taken to the op shop, for she didn’t have any sentimental ties to the stuff. 
When she saw the women playing with their gifts, however she reconsidered her position - “Where’s my memento?” she asked them, but the look on their faces told her there was none.
“I’ll never forgive her for leaving me out!” she announced to unsympathetic ears.
’And she might never forgive you for the years of neglect,’ they thought privately.

Iron Bess said...

Unforgiven

The weather was perfect, just perfect. Sunny, warm, and best of all no bugs, how could she not take advantage of it? The week was almost completed and unbelievably they had almost completed splitting and stacking their firewood for the coming winter. Writing prompts just had to wait until her arms recovered and exhaustion was no longer the word of the day.

Watermark said...

I actually got carried away and wrote a couple of paragraphs on this. If anyone would like to read it, please follow the link here. In the meantime, here are my 4 lines:

Unforgiven

Jenna pursed her lips and tried to stop herself from saying anything that she would later regret; it was of no use now. Yet, she couldn’t help the heaviness in her chest, thinking about how he had lied to her about his family, about his history and lineage and how he had known that it would make it impossible for them to ever marry, about the fact that he had allowed her to break the vow that she had been made to take as a young girl. She picked up a handful of sand and threw it as far as she could but the cold desert wind dispered it, carrying the specks over to the flames nearby. Tom watched as Jenna stormed off, her incensed feet stumbling against the softness of the sand and truly realised that what he had done would be forever unforgiven.

Cathryn Leigh said...

At first I thought this was going to be hard because kids really readily forgive and forget. And Rachael certainly isn’t at the point in her life where she’ll carry a grudge long enough to start a revolution to exact her revenge. *snickers* Anyway I managed four lines, had to massage them a bit to get it right. I think it works well though. :}

Rachael’s Childhood
Chapter 6: Unforgiven


“NO, I wanna go TOO!” Rachael yelled from her father’s arms.

Her father struggled to hang on to the wriggling child and carry her back up the steep ship stairs.

“Space Stations are no place for little kids,” he admonished as her mother took Rachael from him.

“If would be so easy,” Rachael’s mother hugged her tight as her father left, “for something to happen to you and I’d never forgive myself for letting you go.”

Krystin Scott said...

I almost feel bad for these Junior Recruits They keep catching hell....

<>


Major Gabriella Darke appeared on deck and was a sight to behold. She was much older than Chloe, her graying hair was done up in a tight bun and her wizened face was etched with wrinkles. But it was her conduct, not her age that dictated the respect she received from the crew. Today she was all business and none too happy at being rousted from her bunk after pulling third detail in the armory. She’d wanted to choke the life out of the skittish junior recruit that insisted on waking her, and then mumbling incoherently when she finally opened the door. Of course she hadn’t yet, there was no time, but the future was certain to be full of possibilities.

“Colonel.” She said as she gave a crisp salute and stood at attention waiting for Chloe’s instructions.

“Major we have a situation. Major Knight abandoned his post two hours ago to investigate a possible threat and has yet to return. His whereabouts are of the utmost importance. A team is being sent to his last known location, the surface backup generators. Lieutenant Storm, Lieutenant Queste, and Private Orion will join me on this mission. You will remain within the confines of the bio dome as acting command.”

“Yes, Ma’am”, Major Darke was not thrilled with her new assignment, she longed for her sleep but she was a career officer and duty would always win out over preference.

Chloe turns to a young officer to her right. “Lieutenant Rivers, Fill the Major in on what we know so far.”

“Ma’ am, yes Ma’ am” Lieutenant Rivers handed Major Darke a red file containing print outs of the last transmissions from Major Knight and his team.

Lieutenant Storm was looking expectantly at Chloe. “Let’s move.” was all she said as she turned away from the still conversing Major Darke and Lieutenant Rivers, left central command and headed to the surface lifts.

Grondzilla said...

I feel like the passenger in this car!

*** *** ***

The car darted sideways like a living thing as Jacques tugged at the wheel and slipped it around barrier that had been hastily assembled outside the large gathering place. It vaulted off the hardtop and onto the grass without the slightest change in speed and Jacques smoothly handled the gearshift and pedals as the vehicle's trip across the sward described a graceful arc torn into the turves by the skidding tires. The moment they came to a rest, before a large hangar-like door, his passenger hopped daintily out of the car and turned to throw him a kiss even as he tapped his earpiece to answer an incoming call.

“Listen,” said Joe's voice in his head as he manoeuvred the car back through the gates, “no one is forgetting Copenhagen but we haven't got the luxury to do the books right now so if you get your ass back here we can get started on pulling your name out of the shitheap.”

H.N. said...

Too many activities today(and more awaiting tomorrow) has rendered this a short put together but I feel mostly good about. Practice, right?

Hand outstretched, she moved towards Sam, who stood and gently dropped it in her palm.

Sighing with relief, the woman's cheerful voice began again, "He only died last month and, well, it's a really long story but it was the last thing he gave me, from the very first pinball machine he put in the very first diner that he owned on the coast with my grandmother, she's been gone for a few years now, but anyway, I have so many memories of playing pinball with him, it means the most, even above anything that came from his will and it must have slipped out of my pocket when I was just here, I knew these pockets were too shallow, I never usually buy them like that but they were on clearance, don't you love a good deal, anyway, I really thought it was lost forever, I'm so glad I came back to look and you were here."

The woman, whose obvious love of her grandfather flowed unimpeded out of her with every word, was a little hard to keep up with but Sam liked her immediately and nodded politely throughout the entire rambling anecdote while inside something shifted and broke.

In stark contrast to the warm ease in front of her, everything she'd hoped not to notice shoving into a corner of herself and covering over with endless tasks, the conversation with David she was scared to have, overwhelming self doubt, and her own refusal to forgive what happened with her mother, rose and spilled all at once and Sam sank back against the fountain and burst into tears.

Marc said...

Greg - again, perfectly capturing the emotions stirred up by that sort of situation.

Writebite - ugh, sounds like Lucy got exactly what she deserved.

Iron Bess - fully understand, and thanks for dropping in to let us know what's going on :)

Watermark - love the image of the thrown sand :)

Cathryn - I see what you mean, but very deftly wove your way around the problem.

Krystin - all right, we're set to go find the missing Major now!

GZ - great descriptions in the opening paragraph, and it seems the pieces are falling into place now. I think. Maybe? :P

H.N. - haha, that run on speech did a great job of conveying the woman's personality and state.

And poor Sam, I hope she gets her own pinball soon.

Aaron said...

I'm really enjoying this process. everyone's story is so unique and awesome! It's a little long sorry bout that.

“Nurse! Enough! I realize the patient seems sane! That is the problem! He acts sane while committed to a psychiatric hospital! Sane is not the word, he appears to be genuinely happy. He enjoys his time here, painting, conversing with other patients. Not once has he acknowledged his disfigurement nor what he did to get here. He acts as if this were a normal hospital and he were here to heal a physical wound, when he arrived here with police officers in a catatonic fugue. No, he will not be readied for release. Since you are so interested, we are moving him into isolation, where he will be under my observation. Surely he cannot enjoy a padded room. Once he acknowledges reality, we can begin his rehabilitation, and eventually his reintegration into society.”

Marc said...

Aaron - oh dear, things are taking a turn for the worse in the real world. Or perhaps this will all work out for the best... I guess we'll find out soon enough :)