Thursday May 2nd, 2013

The exercise:

You remember that story you started yesterday? Now that you've had a day to think about it, continue it.

And if you didn't start anything yesterday, go back and do that today. When you come by tomorrow, then you can carry on with it.

Yes, I'm being bossy. You know you like it.

Mine:

"My name, my real name," the stranger said as he stood over my crumpled heap of a body, "is Reginald Evergreen. But, as I already mentioned..."

"That name means nothing to me," I heard myself say. The words sounded strange though, like echoes in a large, dark, unknown room.

"Yes, quite right."

He smiled again then, this Reginald fellow. And I realized, with a little jolt of surprise, that I was no longer angry. That I was no longer... anything, really.

"However," he added as he walked around my body, his hands clasped behind his back, "you will be most familiar with another name that I am known by."

"Who are you?" Again, that strange reverberation.

"My name is Death," he told me then. "And I have come to recruit you to my army."

6 Comments:

MosesMalone said...

So sometimes you go through some shit just to have a good time.

Marc said...

Mo - I have to admit, I'm a little disappointed with this. I was hoping with a day between the start and the rest there would be time for inspiration, to add extra details or something.

Though I must add that I had originally intended for these two prompts to be fiction based, so that's on me for not making that clear.

MosesMalone said...

Alright Marc, I'm a fixer by nature so I'm going to take your critique and fix this. I knew my ending was not going to read well. Here is the original ending that I chopped up with a new last sentence. Let me know if this is better. I originally wanted the ending to explain why someone sees things differently, but I honestly still don't know the answer to that. I just thought the last last paragraph felt summed up to me by saying the one line. Anyway, good writing shouldn't need an explanation so therefor, it wasn't good.

Now I live in a land of flowers. Fathers barbecue, children ride bikes, and mothers jog. That night was a moment in time. It didn't change anything in my life. It signified absolutely nothing other than standing only as a memory judging how far I've come in this world. Because sometimes you go through some shit just to have a good time. Sometimes you take the long well lit route to the bar. Sometimes you move away and never look back. Sometimes your adventure into adulthood starts with a red flag telling you that you are on the wrong path.

Marc said...

Mo - thank you for taking that in the spirit in which it was intended :)

This is much more along the lines of what I was looking for. I think this is loads better.

Much appreciated that you came back to this and fleshed it out significantly :)

MosesMalone said...

My pleasure! Thanks for the criticism. I won't learn if people aren't honest. I can take a hit, and I want to improve. I don't know how else to learn to write. I like writing here. It's the first place I ever wrote.

Marc said...

Mo - I'm glad you found the blog, and even more pleased that you're finding it useful :)