Thursday June 12th, 2014

The exercise:

Write a: field report.

Not really sure why I chose this prompt...

Mine:

*Bzzzzt*

Greetings fellow Weedlings,

This is a field report filed earlier tonight by our brethren in the garlic patch. We should warn you now: this is not a happy account.

*Bzzzzt*

What in the...?

*Bzzzzt*

When dawn broke this morning we felt that victory was within our reach. We were in control. Some of our brethren even had a literal stranglehold on several of the garlic plants. Our enemy seemed to have forgotten about us, or perhaps simply given up.

Here is a view of the battlefield taken earlier today:


We were confident. We were sure that we were safe. We were mistaken.

*Bzzzzt*

How did you get that picture off of my phone?

*Bzzzzt*

Our enemy attacked viciously, making use of the smoking machine with the whirling metal blades. Many lives were lost in the initial onslaught, but those of us encamped closest to the garlic plants were spared.

Next an assault was launched with the long handled blade. Our men and women fought bravely and succeeded in breaking the foul weapon:


We thought our enemy would fold.

*Bzzzzt*

Wait, you guys did that on purpose?

*Bzzzzt*

But our enemy proved resilient. A smaller version of this weapon was employed, with savage efficiency. Our brethren on the Southern Front were defenseless. By the end of the morning... we must caution those with a tender constitution: this image is quite graphic.


Horrendous.

*Bzzzzt*

Glorious, actually. You should -

*Bzzzzt*

Our control of the signal is growing weaker. We must finish swiftly. Grow strong, grow quick! Our enemy will return and we must be prepared! Dig your roots deep into the earth and make your stand! We outnumber our enemy still!

Our brethren in the strawberry patch expect another incursion tomorrow. We have some time to recover, and we must use it well. While our enemy is distracted we shall -

*Bzzzzt*

It doesn't matter how long you have. Hours or days or weeks. The end result will be the same.

I am coming for you and I will destroy you all.

2 Comments:

Greg said...

That's very nicely done, and it looks like the weeding has been extremely successful. Depending whose side you're on, of course.... I can't bring myself to sympathise with the weeds though. Even though I was very impressed that they broke your instruments of death and destruction!

Field report
Report 788/019/GFR2: Our theoretical team, though slowed in their work by the untimely death of employee 802, have a full proof now that the field under consideration (GFR2) saturates the environment fully and the field tension coefficients must grow without bound. This places no upper limit of the strength of the field, which though potentially useful in ensuring that nothing can pass through it, ultimately leads to an explosive destabilisation when the environment cannot contain the field tension any longer.
Our practical team have demonstrated this, which unfortunately lead directly to the death of employee 802, as detailed in Field Report 788/016/GFR2.
In our previous report we noted that this appeared to be an unresolvable issue as there was no way to bound or otherwise control the growth of the field tension. However, employees 587 (theoretical) and 1018 (practical/semisensible) have succeeded in describing an alternating protocol for the field.
By switching the field generators on and off at a frequency
lambda it is possible to create a field that is effectively permanent (in that the intervals between the field being on are so short as to not allow the passage of material, and we suspect that this can be fine tuned for gas). The field tension grows from 0 each time the field is turned on, and can reach a strength of the reciprocal of lambda which means that the field now provides an effective barrier.
We still believe that a remotely activated field is the most destructive weapon we have been able to devise however.

Marc said...

Greg - yeah, I was quite taken aback by it myself...

'semisensible' made me laugh :)

Really nice use of the format, by the way. I have a very clear picture of the world from which this report came from.