The exercise:
Write two haiku about something that is: superficial.
First box program day has come to a successful close, with thirteen happy customers taking home a whole lot of produce. On top of that, with additional strawberry orders from this morning, the grand total was 81 pints going elsewhere with 13 pints going to Kat's mom for jam and freezing.
Big day. I'm tired, but it's a very satisfied tired.
Mine:
They say that beauty
is only skin deep. I say
that is deep enough.
* * *
He claims to be a
friend; his actions speak louder
than sly promises
4 comments:
Sounds like you're very busy!
Paint your face on, brush
Away the spots and all of
The imperfections.
I see your gangsta.
Your gold dripping off your neck.
You’re trying too hard.
Superficial I
am, no deep thoughts at all, none
at all. That's me.
@Morganna: though I know Marc will dispose of the double post, somehow the double posting adds a depth to your haiku that is very fit!
@Brittany: It's a tough call but I think I like your second haiku better this time :)
@Marc: so... six thirteens is 78, which leaves 3 pints to have gone somewhere other than the box customers; that said, six pints of strawberries sounds rather generous for a box, so I'm guessing it was closer to three or four per customer and the bakery getting enough to keep them very happy :)
As with Brittany's haiku it's a close call, but I think the second one wins out for me this week.
Superficial
She looked beautiful
But up close it became clear
"She" was a drag queen!
--------
Choose the shiny thing?
The merchant paints crap with gold.
Caveat emptor.
Brittany - like both of your haiku, perhaps your second just a little bit more.
Morganna - yeah, I almost left the double post since it seemed to work so well... but I ended up getting rid of one.
Still, this stands on its own just fine. I quite like reading it aloud.
Greg - heh, it was only 2 pints per box, plus we had four veggies only boxes that didn't get any at all. So... lots of other orders to account for the rest :)
Have to go with your first as my favorite this week. That final line is beautifully setup.
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