Wednesday April 1st, 2015

The exercise:

Write about: the mole.

As I've mentioned in previous years, I don't care for April Fools jokes in the least, so you won't be finding any of that nonsense here.

Greenhouse work took longer than expected (because of course it did), but I did manage to get all of our tomatoes started. Which says a lot about how much we've scaled back veggie production this year, considering it would have been a multiple day effort in previous seasons.

Anyway, I should be able to get the peppers going fairly quickly tomorrow afternoon and then I shall have a look at the garlic patch.


Within our ranks
An enemy lurks,
Hidden behind
False smiles
And empty words.

He must be found -
Or she, I suppose.
Let us not narrow
Our search so soon,
For we are all suspect.

Keep your eyes open,
Your ears to the walls,
Your guns close to hand,
And let us put an end to this
Before even more damage is done.


Greg said...

I quite like that the news agencies will usually add an April Fool's story to the day's news; I'm also hoping that in decades to come people forget this and start believing the joke stories actually happened :) The story that Tom Daley was quitting swimming to become the next member of One Direction was rather inspired, I thought :)
If you're scaling back on the veggies, what's replacing them? Cows? Max would like a cow, I think. Or a calf :) And a puppy.
That's quite a grim poem, you're really serious about no humour on April Fool's day! Still, it does march on quite nicely, with the intimaton that the mole will be found, no matter the cost. I rather like it.

The Mole
"I think it's a beauty spot," said Janice, poking at the lump on her face. "Have you got some powder for it?"
"It doesn't look like a beauty spot," said Sylvia, not looking up. She was rummaging in her capacious handbag and six lipsticks, two compacts and a forest of makeup brushes were on the counter next to her. "Anyway, I stick my beauty spots on with stage glue; they don't grow by themselves."
Janice frowned in the mirror, and poked it again. The station toilets in Wigan weren't her first choice for makeup repairs, and the smell of toilet bleach was strong, but this beauty spot was proving embarrassing. "It draws the attention," she said. "That's what a beauty spot does."
"Yeah, it draws the eye to a minor imperfection that offsets the natural beauty of the rest of the face," said Sylvia. She found small sponge in her handbag and seized it with a cry of delight. "That's a bloody great mole you've got there. Does it have any hair growing out of it?"
"What! No!" Janice looked mortified.
"How about teeth? That girl in the lower class, she found a tooth in one of hers. Turned out to be all that was left of a conjoined twin. One tooth in a mole."
Janice shivered at the gruesome thought. "It's not a bloody mole," she said. "Give me some glitter, I'll get it sorted."
"It's not a mole," said a new voice; Darryl had walked in on them and was looking at Janice's reflection with interest. "That's a verruca. Who've you had standing on your face then?"

Lakshmi Nambiar said...

Trust No One
It had been almost a week since we’d been moving, searching for a way to get across enemy lines. We needed to find a chink in their defences, but there was a problem- wherever we went, they knew we were coming. If we went to a warehouse- it had been long cleared, their computer databases- wiped clean, a pass into their camps- an ambush waited, with them having twice as many of our soldiers. During the past month itself we had lost half our men, and this war hadn’t even started.
You see we were a special elite force. We had been handpicked by the government in complete secrecy ever since it was clear that soon our country would be in war. We were to scour enemy territory as much as possible and obtain intel. But like I mentioned earlier, there was a problem- we had a mole.
“Gather round lads,” I said to my unit, “We have a spy in our ranks. A dirty, lying, good for nothing agent who has infiltrated our ranks, who sends information to our foes and is listening to this very conversation at this very moment pretending that he too like the rest of us is wondering who this person might be.” I took a deep breath looked up and down their ranks and continued, “Now I have a proposal for this good for nothing man. If he comes to me by 12 tonight and confesses I shall forgive him and that way he can be used to fool our rivals. If not when I find this mole, and don’t underestimate me- I will find him, and I will take his guts out and feed it to my dogs. Is that clear?”
I took one last look at their awed faces, turned on my heel and marched to my study. I took out a sheet and a pen, made sure I had a seal ready by my side and began to write a report to my Commanding Officer:
Sir, they have no suspicion whatsoever. My tracks are well covered. On the 12th they strike at Warehouse 307. In two months they’ll all be dead, the war will be lost for them before it’s even begun and I’ll take my place as Subordinate Commanding Officer……….

ivybennet said...

I'm curious, why don't you like April Fool's jokes?

The Mole:

Tremors worked their way from her sweaty palms to each of her slender fingers. No matter how she stood—arms crossed in front of her chest, hands gripping the sides of her skirt—she couldn’t shake the jitters that wrecked her body and mind.
But her purpose was more important than any fear she might be feeling. This small piece of knowledge she had at her disposal, this tiny tidbit of information she gleaned from all her years of eavesdropping practice as an anthropologist was nothing compared to the grand scheme of things.
And for the safety of her little boy somehow caught in the crossfires of the Lions and the Marauders, she would do anything.
Even betray her own by speaking with the Guard.

Marc said...

Greg - the hope is that between Kat's teaching job and some counselling work for her, and some extra photo work for me we'll cover most of it. The influx of cash before the season starts will still be missed, but hopefully it works out okay in the end.

So many delightfully gross details in your piece. Hard to pick a favorite, but that ending is... yeah.

Lakshmi - ah, the mole at the top of the old food chain. Very problematic for the soldiers underneath him... but perhaps they'll manage to figure it all out.

Ivybennet - I just don't care for the vast majority of the 'pranks' pulled, and I have no interest whatsoever in pulling any myself. I guess I'm a bit of a party pooper in this area.

Really like the way you conveyed the emotion of your narrator here. Gives things a nice, realistic edge to them.