I'm expecting Canada to beat the US in the Men's Curling now that Britain has lost out to Switzerland. Just so you know. For this prompt I want to return to Pestilence and Famine since I quite like them, and it occurred to me that the "running" joke (technically it's been running for 8 years, so I guess it's quite tired now) about War perhaps needs an explanation. Back around 2010 there was a proliferation of euphemisms for going to war, with governments preferring phrases like 'Limited Action', 'Low-fatality comflict', 'Aggravated spatial incursion'. For a mythological being like War the natural result would be the gentleman being put in a retirement home and a pony-club of the newcomers being loosed on the world. Neither Famine nor Pestilence were all that keen on it.
Overgrown "We're fam, right?" Pestilence was picking his way through the long grass, leaning on the ancient, well-weathered stones that poked out of the ground as he navigated trickier bits. "I'm Fam," said Famine. "Jesus, what happened here? An earthquake?" Something crunched underneath his foot and he looked alarmed. "What was that?" "Yeah right, you're Fam, but like, we're fam, right?" Pestilence looked over at his friend and on his next step slipped and fell over. A cloud of dust billowed over him, tinging green over the course of seconds. "I don't like sharing my name," said Famine. He glared at the weeds and grass and general overgrowth and they starting turning yellow and wilting around him. "You don't like sharing anything," said Pestilence, hauling himself back to his feet. The weeds and overgrowth around him were turning black and starting to rot where the cloud of dust was settling. "But like, it's not your name, right, it's the concept. We're fam, right? Like, family. I can tell you stuff, right?" "No," said Famine quickly. Around him the overgrowth was already down to half its original height. "No telling me about interesting strains of tuberculosis, or how you figured out how to breed parasitic wasps that like to sting people's eyeballs and deposit their eggs there. Think of us as... estranged cousins. Or maybe feuding in-laws." "Great, right, that's still fam though," said Pestilence. The overgrowth around him was rotting faster and turning into a blackish-grey slime, revealing more fallen stones and delicate little railings, ankle-height, just enough to severely endanger anyone trying to walk around without looking. "So, like, your girlfriend. I think she's cheating on you." "She definitely is," said Famine. "She's put on weight in the last few days." "She has?" Pestilence's blank look was eloquent. "8 grams," said Famine. "She's cheating on you with Gluttony," said Pestilence. "I saw them together in a car in a Walmart parking lot." Famine nodded, a hint of sadness crossing his face. The overgrowth around him was now thoroughly dead and turning into dust. "Yours is dead," he said. "That's a record isn't it? Six days?" "The one that got galloping leprosy managed eight," said Pestilence. "But she wasn't in good shape for the last three days. Unless you think triangles are good shapes." "I didn't want to know that," said Famine. He looked around: now that the vegetation had been removed around them it was clear that this had once been a cemetery. "Right, where do you think the boss is 'resting' then?"
Overgrown I got there and, despite the peaceful nature of the countryside around this parcel of land, the forest it harboured looked impenetrable, it was so overgrown. To even clear a track through for walking, (which was a dream of mine), would be dangerous, if not impossible - the snakes, the rocks, the unseen ditches and then the prickles on the creepers stealing the foliage from the native trees - no, it was too big a job. I couldn’t even consider it.
Some things were just best left alone.
The forest had won this round (perhaps rightly so).
4 comments:
I'm expecting Canada to beat the US in the Men's Curling now that Britain has lost out to Switzerland. Just so you know.
For this prompt I want to return to Pestilence and Famine since I quite like them, and it occurred to me that the "running" joke (technically it's been running for 8 years, so I guess it's quite tired now) about War perhaps needs an explanation. Back around 2010 there was a proliferation of euphemisms for going to war, with governments preferring phrases like 'Limited Action', 'Low-fatality comflict', 'Aggravated spatial incursion'. For a mythological being like War the natural result would be the gentleman being put in a retirement home and a pony-club of the newcomers being loosed on the world. Neither Famine nor Pestilence were all that keen on it.
Overgrown
"We're fam, right?" Pestilence was picking his way through the long grass, leaning on the ancient, well-weathered stones that poked out of the ground as he navigated trickier bits.
"I'm Fam," said Famine. "Jesus, what happened here? An earthquake?" Something crunched underneath his foot and he looked alarmed. "What was that?"
"Yeah right, you're Fam, but like, we're fam, right?" Pestilence looked over at his friend and on his next step slipped and fell over. A cloud of dust billowed over him, tinging green over the course of seconds.
"I don't like sharing my name," said Famine. He glared at the weeds and grass and general overgrowth and they starting turning yellow and wilting around him.
"You don't like sharing anything," said Pestilence, hauling himself back to his feet. The weeds and overgrowth around him were turning black and starting to rot where the cloud of dust was settling. "But like, it's not your name, right, it's the concept. We're fam, right? Like, family. I can tell you stuff, right?"
"No," said Famine quickly. Around him the overgrowth was already down to half its original height. "No telling me about interesting strains of tuberculosis, or how you figured out how to breed parasitic wasps that like to sting people's eyeballs and deposit their eggs there. Think of us as... estranged cousins. Or maybe feuding in-laws."
"Great, right, that's still fam though," said Pestilence. The overgrowth around him was rotting faster and turning into a blackish-grey slime, revealing more fallen stones and delicate little railings, ankle-height, just enough to severely endanger anyone trying to walk around without looking. "So, like, your girlfriend. I think she's cheating on you."
"She definitely is," said Famine. "She's put on weight in the last few days."
"She has?" Pestilence's blank look was eloquent.
"8 grams," said Famine.
"She's cheating on you with Gluttony," said Pestilence. "I saw them together in a car in a Walmart parking lot."
Famine nodded, a hint of sadness crossing his face. The overgrowth around him was now thoroughly dead and turning into dust. "Yours is dead," he said. "That's a record isn't it? Six days?"
"The one that got galloping leprosy managed eight," said Pestilence. "But she wasn't in good shape for the last three days. Unless you think triangles are good shapes."
"I didn't want to know that," said Famine. He looked around: now that the vegetation had been removed around them it was clear that this had once been a cemetery. "Right, where do you think the boss is 'resting' then?"
New nurse is awful
I shall make my escape through
The overgrown shrubs.
Overgrown
I got there and, despite the peaceful nature of the countryside around this parcel of land, the forest it harboured looked impenetrable, it was so overgrown.
To even clear a track through for walking, (which was a dream of mine), would be dangerous, if not impossible - the snakes, the rocks, the unseen ditches and then the prickles on the creepers stealing the foliage from the native trees - no, it was too big a job.
I couldn’t even consider it.
Some things were just best left alone.
The forest had won this round (perhaps rightly so).
Greg - yes, well, turns out our curling teams (other than the mixed doubles) were a bag of butt this go 'round.
Thank you for the explanation of the joke that, by now, must surely be exhausted!
Gluttony being in a Walmart parking lot is somehow my favorite part of this. And there are a *lot* of excellent parts :D
Morganna - this continuation also pleases me :)
Dragonfly - sometimes it is indeed best to concede defeat. I reckon this is one of them :)
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