Thursday September 11th, 2008

The exercise:

Finally getting around to the idea of using lists as a starter, here are the lists to work from:

- The last three places you went that were not work
- Two artists you admire/enjoy
- Two places you would break into if you were a thief
- Three favorite Olympic sports

Mine:

Three places: grocery store, garden, farmer's market
Two artists: van Gogh, Rembrandt
Two thieving locations: bank, mansion
Three Olympic sports: sprint, diving, trampoline

As the checkout girl rings up my purchases I go through the grocery list in my head. I'm pretty sure I've got everything but I always seem to forget something and Helen never lets it go.

"Is that everything sir?" she asks with a hideously fake smile in a faux-chipper tone.

"Yes," I say, oozing with confidence.

"Great, that will be eight hundred thousand, two hundred and thirty-five dollars and... twelve cents!"

"Those Rembrandts really add up," I observe as I pull out my cheque book. It's a good thing we're running out of wall space at the mansion. I fill out the topmost cheque but just before I sign I realize what I've forgotten. "Oh, do you have any trampolines in this week? The kids won't leave me alone about getting one."

"Sorry sir, we're all sold out."

Thank goodness. Now I just have to talk the brats out of taking up platform diving and they might just live to see their teens.

"Do you need a hand carrying this out sir?"

"No, I'll send my driver in to collect it. Good day young lady," I say with a tip of my top hat.

"Good day sir," she sing-songs back, "it was a pleasure serving the head of the Bank of North America!"

"Of course it was. Good day."