Friday December 3rd, 2010

The exercise:

Four lines of prose about: the assassin.

Got a bit more work done on the cabin today, and tomorrow we tackle the new kitchen counter. Hopefully all goes reasonably smoothly.

Finally starting to get used to not having to write madly every day.

Mine:

The poison-tipped blade was still concealed within his sleeve as he closed in on his target. The room was crowded, the air bursting with drunken conversation and too-loud music, just the sort of perfect chaos he liked to work with.

The man he'd been hired to kill was seated facing away from him on a large black sofa, surrounded by beautiful, stupid women who would not notice he was dead for at least five minutes.

A mere three feet away, the assassin let his dagger fall into his hand as he readied for the blow; but just as he did so an intoxicated partygoer stumbled into him, causing the tip of the blade to slice open the assassin's middle finger.

5 Comments:

Zhongming said...

Marc - I like the way you tackle today's prompt. I think you picture the assassin superbly. :)

The Assassin

He put on his black batman suit ready to take on his target anytime when he feels time is right. Then he used his laptop for hacking the security code that is guarding the door.

It only takes seconds before he managed to get behind the tight securities and went straight into the chamber of diamond and without much effort or being seen.

Then he saw the man whom he was supposed to murder already on the floor with a sword in his chest.

Greg said...

@Zhongming: an assassin in a Batman suit? That'll make him stand out in the crowd! Still, since his job's been done for him, I guess he doesn't have to worry about making his getaway this time.

@Marc: Good luck with the kitchen counter!
Sounds like you've got an unlucky assassin there! Still for just four lines you tell a very compact little story, with enough depth to it that you neither notice it's only four lines long, or feel like there's anything missing.

The Assassin
Bad Kitty, swaddled in a brilliant white fluffy dressing gown, laid the newspaper down on the breakfast table and purred. Opposite her, fastidiously opening a butter croissant with a scalpel, the Assassin half-smiled.
"I want Dr. Septopus dead," said Bad Kitty.
The Assassin paused, his scalpel en route to the raspberry jam, and then nodded, just the once.

summerfield said...

marc, i don't know but for some reason, i picture the mr. bean guy as the assassin in your vignette, so serious and yet terribly clumsy. yes, i have the CD of that stupid movie of his (shudder!).

zhongming, batman suit eh? yeah, i could ignore him, i just did last sunday at the kids christmas party, but that was because he was walking around with mr. grinch!

greg, it is always a delight to see your recurring characters; it's like bumping into a casual acquaintance (who nonetheless had previously made an impression). and the scalpel used to slice the croissant and spread jam: brilliant!

-o0o-

now, i decided to make mine a continuation of a previous prompt we took on in october.
click here

The assassin now finds himself in front of the gun of another assassin and Kalan does not understand how Father Richard got involved in this. The white-haired assassin, waves a rolled up document in her other hand, while motioning Kalan to close the door and at the same time telling him, "Well, if it isn't Kalan Sandars, the slippery one, or is that your real name?"

Her voice, exactly like that of an old woman's, squeaky and high-pitched and conveying some sort of kindness, belies the toughness in her face and the determination in her eyes.

"I got me the cake and you are the cherry on top!"

Heather said...

Marc- It feels very Burn Notice-ish, except for the unfortunate slip. So, maybe James Bond-ish then?

Zhongming- I hate it when I am beat to the punch! I understand how your character must feel.

Greg- I know I've missed some writing these last couple of weeks. Do we know why Bad Kitty is unhappy with the Doctor? Still wanting to see her character developed more. Call it a personal stake.

Summerfield- Nice continuation. Perhaps more pieces to come sometime?
-----
Broken and dismembered bodies were scattered throughout the house-- the MO familiar and growing too frequent. Slowly I bent down and read what was left of the name scrawled across a tiny body. Tears welled at the loss of so many by the indiscriminate assassin. I walked directly to the Chocolate Lab huddled in the corner and lifted her face to mine, "I told you to leave the Gingerbread Ornaments alone!"

Marc said...

Zhongming - great final line!

Greg - the scalpel is a wonderful touch :)

Summerfield - an excellent continuation and it leaves me wanting even more.

Heather - I haven't seen Burn Notice, but now you've got me curious.

Brilliant setup to that very unexpected final line :)