Thursday January 12th, 2012

The exercise:

Write something about: the twins.

After watching that movie last night, and starting to read Her Fearful Symmetry this morning, it was pretty much inevitable.

Working on something today that I'll be sharing with you guys pretty soon. Both nervous and excited about it. I think that's a good sign.

Mine:

The woman sat down across from him while he was perusing the dessert menu. She was late, but he didn't mind. He knew she would come.

"What do you want?" she asked after allowing him to order the crème brûlée.

"My darling Felicity, calm down." He eased his wine glass to his lips and sipped. "You know we won't do anything to your twin as long as you do as we wish."

"If you know what's good for you, you'll pick up that phone," she pointed at the cell phone resting near his right hand, "and have Lauren released before your dessert arrives."

"I will make that call as soon as you agree to our terms, and not a moment sooner." He watched her squirm in her seat as she looked at the rooftops of the buildings surrounding the square. If she was searching for the snipers, she would not find them. He'd only brought the best with him. "As we both know, you have been making life very difficult for my boss in recent months. Profits are down, and when profits are down, he is not a pleasant man to be around."

"From what I've heard, he's never much fun to be around," she pointed out, now scanning the crowded sidewalk across the street from the cafe.

"Indeed." He took a longer sip this time. "Your... interference has only made his temper worse than usual. So. Let us come to an agreement. You stop killing his men, stop blowing up his buildings, and stop being in this country, and we let your sweet, innocent sister go. She doesn't deserve what will happen to her if you insist on continuing to be disagreeable. But, rest assured, it would happen. And my men would enjoy themselves greatly."

"How many men do you have watching us right now?" She finally returned her gaze to him. "Come on, you can tell me. What's the harm?"

"Twelve, give or take three," he said after a moment's hesitation.

"So, given what I know of your operating budget, that leaves, at most, eight men guarding my sister." She stood up as the waiter arrived with his dessert, smoothing her skirt with one hand. "That shouldn't be a problem for her."

"My darling, whatever are you going on about?" He leaned forward and picked up his fork.

"It's a wonderful plan, I'll give you that. But there's just one problem," she said, beginning to turn away. "You've got the wrong twin."

"What?"

"I hope you haven't compounded your stupidity by holding her at your headquarters," Lauren said over her shoulder. "Otherwise your boss is in more trouble than you can imagine. If you want to save his fat ass, you better get moving, darling."

12 Comments:

Greg said...

Twins huh? Great atmosphere in your story, even if I was pretty much expecting it to be the wrong twin :) Your twins sound like very interesting and different people; I'd quite like to see more about them.
Oh, and nicely done getting all the accents on the dessert!

the Twins
Cobbled streets are wreathed in mist,
And a man walks by, slowly,
Pressing his hand to a wound in his side,
Clutching a knife in his fist.

Blood drips rhythmical and red,
Dark buildings loom overhead,
Two women stand in the shadow of a doorway;
One of them shakes her head.

No words, no sounds, the scene is set,
The twins will witness another death,
The man has meaning but he's just a pawn,
The twins will part as thought they'd never met.

Cobbled streets are wreathed in mist,
A woman walks away, high-heels tapping.
Her mirror-image waits a while,
And takes a knife from a dead man's fist.

writebite said...

The Twins

“He was always such a nice young man!” aunt Lizzie stated.
We’d heard it a thousand times; we almost started to believe it.
I remember some of what prompted Lizzie’s remark. 
I recall the time he stood up to the bullies on the way home from school. They’d tease and taunt and call us names. We were the migrant kids and they never let us forget it. One day it got too much. He stormed up to them, making his height bigger than it was, and yelled like there was no tomorrow. I recall a bit of cussing too, unlike him, but then...
Then there was the time where he stood up to mother. She was probably going through the change or something but she lost it one day and started to beat up on one of us. He yelled one word, “Stop!” and looked her hard in the eye. She never lost it again. She never expected him to stand up to her, he was usually such a quiet lad, but push his buttons...
He had a soft spot for the underdog. When he saw injustice, he corrected it with calm efficiency which makes it harder to understand why he went AWOL. He left his family in the lurch, barely saying goodbye, and took up a new life, starting over. He ignored what he had in his old life, as though it were all tainted with memories or something with which he no longer wanted to identify.
His new life - his new behaviour - was something we couldn’t understand.
Then I realised something. He was a Gemini. 
The sign of the Twins.

Cathryn Leigh said...

Ah twins... I can go skipping back to Vervell for this one. I was thinking of writing a poem about Chester and York, but apparently the muse thought the Sundering would be more fun. Originally I was going to have someone explain it to my MC, Sarah, but I got the poem idea stuck in my head. So here you go. :}

The Twins

Vervell and Azure
Once a country whole
Till split by warring twins

One army was green
The other was blue
In strength they were the same

The battle began
As the twins clashed swords
Upon the marshy land

A sea of green rushed
A sea of blue as
The twins, they fought each other

But with an eagle’s shriek
From the sky above
The ground began to shake

Down it dropped
Into naught
The sea came rushing in

The arms are gone
Washed away
By the reddening tide

The Gods now wait
For new twins wake
The countries to reunite

Krystin Scott said...

Writing Prompt: The Twins

The two share the same face
Albeit identity is theirs alone.
Though to tell which one is which
Is a feat few can accomplish on their own.
***

I have twins, they are 10. it's always bugged me that people ask silly questions like which one is older or which is the Evil one. It seems that people pit them against each other right from the beginning,always leaving them with something to prove. So I couldn't write a good scene for you today, They all came out like informative lectures :(

writebite said...

KS, people ask which one is the evil one? OMG tell them to go to hell. it's just a stupid myth anyhow.

David said...

@Marc - loved it man, the creative juices were flowing when I read that. I think Lauren and Felicity may know the Barber and the Beard.

@Greg - writing that as a poem makes it creepier for me. Evokes Victorian England for me. Twins that finish each others sentence. They seem like the anti-Jack the Ripper, killing the Johns instead of the prostitutes.

@writebite - like the take focusing on the two sides of one person - very nice

@Catheryn - I'm coming in late to your story, but I like the epic nature of your poem. Look forward to reading more.

@Kristin - thanks for sharing, we should all celebrate the days when a prompt hits close to home, and we still produce something. Although, I apologize in advance, because my take may pit twins against one another.


Urgent Communiqué – CDC
0700h 13/11/20

Confirmation of earlier report of medical occurrence deemed unnatural at Central Baptist Hospital in Lexington, Kentucky. At 0300h on 11/11/20, Caucasian woman, age 34, gave birth to male child. Birth recorded as routine, no epidural administered. Post-operative, mother and child in after-birth care, rested normally. At 0315h, while nursing newborn, woman felt discomfort in lower abdomen. Discomfort immediately upgraded to significant pain. Doctor recalled. To surprise of all in room, woman gave birth to second child. No indication of second child in-utero in previous ultrasounds. Second birth initially categorized as routine. Second child, also male, appeared to be identical twin. However, two oddities recognized post partum. First, the child was not connected to an umbilical cord, nor had it ever been. Second, upon inspection of the child’s eyes, noted that sclera were black and pupils white. Subsequent events are inconclusive as eyewitness accounts vary and interview subjects were in varying states of shock, spanning from mild to catatonic. There appears to have been a violent altercation. Some have said the second child “attacked”. Doctor in coma, visible contusions on neck and arms. Unconscious due to fall and trauma to back of head. Additional interviews and analysis required. One fact conclusive, both children are deceased. Bodies of children en route to Atlanta for autopsy. Please advise further actions desired.

Urgent Communiqué – CDC
1100h 14/11/20

Indication of further “twin” births in Tacoma, Washington; Santa Fe, New Mexico; Orlando, Florida; and Bangor, Maine. Violent activity reported at each location. Task force assembling for further investigation.

Cathryn Leigh said...

I thought I'd come back and comment too. :}

@Marc - Looks like twin two isn't as helpless as they thought. though I wonder - is it a ruse so that she can follow him back to where he's stashed her sister to rescue her. *grin*

@Greg - your poem actually inspired me to try a poem form for my attempt. Yours, is a bit chilling.

@writebite - as the sign of the twin, a different twist. :}

@KS - People ask the most obnoxious questions *eyeroll* I do like your poem, very well done.

@David - Chilling. Something wiked this way comes I should think... O.O As to coming in late to my story, you're not really. this is just one of the snippets that can be perseribed to helping build the world I've set a Trilogy in. I can give links to the draft posted on Protagoniz if you like, they get increasingly longer and I'm stil editing the third book for posting. :}

Krystin Scott said...

@writebite - They ask right infront of the children. The kids look to see what my response will be....I have told them where to go, & included directions, among other things... they only had to call security the one time.. honest. =P

@david putting my party hat on & saying thanks for the "attitude adjustment". Your case report.. loved it, but thankful we don't live in orlando. Time for costume contacts?? With one look the girls could silently answer their favorite question...

@ everyone else, I'm happy to be here with such a nice group. Hope we get to know each other over time.

Nita said...

She's beautiful in her blue plaid jumper and braids. She's dressed exactly like her sister today, which I'm sure was the point. Normally, I wouldn't have noticed, but then normally on test day I see tears and tantrums, not smiles and giggles.

I take the paper from her outstretched hand. “Thank you, Tess.”

“Theresa,” she corrects.

“Theresa, of course.” Of course, my ass. That is Tess Sanders in that seat.

I glance down at the math test in my hand, mentally calculating answers as I walk back to my desk. Theresa wouldn't have finished yet, and she certainly wouldn't have gotten number 2 right. I just gave a math test to the wrong twin. Now what do I do?

~~~~

@KS: Which one is the evil one? The one that asks that question.

I really enjoyed all the responses to this. It's interesting to see everyone have a different take on the same subject.

Brittany said...

Twins

A half of a whole,
a glass half full.
Four sets of eyes,
four ears,
two mouths,
two bodies the same.
Both just as tall
and hands just as small.

A cruel duality,
each has no identity
without the other.

Marc said...

Greg - the magic of copy/paste (I couldn't be bothered to figure out how to do it otherwise).

Fantastic poem. I think your second stanza is my favorite.

Writebite - great take on the prompt. I like that you presented just enough evidence of his former self to show how startling the change was.

Elor - great imagery, I got a wonderful image in my head from minimal descriptions. Nicely done!

Krystin - enjoyed the poem, even more so after hearing about your situation.

It's hard to believe people can be so stu... nah, I guess it's not.

David - thanks, glad you enjoyed it :)

Wonderfully creepy. Great choice on the format too. Shuddered when imagining the second baby.

Elor (again) - yeah, could be a trick. Though I prefer to imagine the deadly twin raising hell back at HQ :P

Krystin (also again!) - I'm happy to have you here, and I think we all get to know each other a little better with every piece we share.

Nita - heh, kids are not nearly as clever as they think. But man, when those ones get older... look out! :)

The different end points from the same starting point is my absolute favorite aspect of this :D

Brittany - growing up I often thought about what it would be like to have a twin. I think the loss of one would be devastating to the other.

I think you captured that sense of... lack of true independence? Sure... very nicely.

writebite said...

marc, you are developing quite a group here (and dare i say talented?)
KS, yeah, maybe u should quote nita and tell those idiots they are the evil one/s eh.