Monday March 18th, 2013

The exercise:

Today we write about: the south.

Because it only seems fair, you know?

So after regularly deleting hundreds of anonymous spam comments every week for the last month or so, I've finally given up and disabled anonymous comments on my posts. It's become incredibly tiresome, and with me going away for a week I really don't want to come back to find an avalanche of spam comments clogging things up.

Also: I've noticed very few legitimate anonymous comments over the years here, so I don't think it should bother too many people. If it puts anyone out though, I do apologize.

But it's just really not worth it anymore.


"Well, this has been terribly disappointing." Martin kicked a rock off the sidewalk and onto the grass as he made his way back to the car. "I can't believe those guidebooks can get away with being so misleading."

"Maybe we're not -" Cindy began but her husband cut her short with a heavy sigh.

"Let's just go home. This has been a total disaster."

"But don't you think -" Cindy tried but was interrupted again.

"This whole Southern Hospitality thing is a myth. Did you see how rude that man was when I asked to borrow his trampoline?"

"Yes, but -"

"It's like he thought it actually mattered that his son was currently using it! And that it was somehow important that we had crashed the boy's birthday party! Ridiculous!"

"Perhaps," Cindy said as she placed a hand across her husband's mouth so that she could finish her sentence for once, "we'd have better luck if we drove more than twenty minutes south."


Greg said...

Anonymous? I thought I was leaving those offers from a named account... I mean... I mean... oh crap.
I see what you mean though; better to stop the anonymous posting than suffer spam. I hope you only come back to useful and happy comments! (Mine excepted, obviously.)
I kind of like Martin and his impatience with things. And I'm completely with him on the trampoline issue. They're meant to be shared! Cindy seems... wifelike :-P

The south
LaTurf paced the marble floors of the third drawing room and wondered idly what she should be drawing in there. The room was cool despite the summer heat outside, and she'd opened the doors to the balcony to let the hot, sweaty scent of the lilacs in. The furniture, still dust-sheeted from when it was delivered after the wedding, created little islands that she skirted around. For a few minutes she amused herself pretending that she was a luxury yacht considered which Greek island to call at next but this was spoiled when she caught sight of herself in the floor-to-ceiling mirror and realised that she was more of an oil-tanker.
She pulled a phone from her pocket and shook it. It beeped; it was still working. He just wasn't calling.
The stairs outside the third drawing room were also marble, and the stairwell was shadowy and almost cold. Her skin prickled as she descended, but it a pleasant, almost anticipatory sensation. At the foot, the second-floor hall expanded out, with seventeen doors leading off it. She paused, remembering how excited she'd been when she first saw the house and counted the doors. Now it just seemed like a ridiculous number. She didn't even remember what was behind all of them.
She chose one at random and opened it; it was a linen closet. The linens were creamy, neatly stacked, and filled the cupboard. Her mammy would have insisted that it was like that as you never knew when a guest would arrive, or need a change of linens.
She closed the closet door abruptly, tears welling up in her eyes. Mammy was buried out in the back garden and had been now for three years. You'd think someone would have noticed she was missing by now.

Marc said...

Greg - hah :P

And I thought you might appreciate his view on trampolines :)

Hmm, intriguing scene. Really enjoyed the description of the building.

MosesMalone said...

“What’s that way, Daddy?” Asked a small boy named Roy

“Ummm. South.” Replied his father who was not really paying attention.

The next day…

“Roy! Guess what! We’re going on a great vacation with rides, the ocean, and a super fun car trip!” exclaimed the father

“Lets go now Daddy! Where are we going?” said Roy

“Down South to a place called Myrtle Beach.” Replied the father

“No way. I’m not going. There are monsters there!” yelled Roy as he hid behind the couch.

“No there aren’t. Why would you think that?” asked the father

“Because I asked you yesterday what was down there, and you told me South. Not going. Monsters live there” yelled Roy pointing towards the basement from behind the couch.

I wrote 3 different things for South. I wasn't feeling any. -Mo

MosesMalone said...

Ok, I'm posting this too because even though it is stupid, it actually makes me laugh.

“Well, shit.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Looks like our plan has gone south.”

Marc said...

MosesMalone - hah, like the way you captured the power of misunderstandings. Especially a such a tender age.

Also: that made me laugh too, so I think we're good :)