Sunday August 18th, 2013

The exercise:

Write about: the exterminator.

I have to admit, I had trouble choosing which direction to go with mine because I had so many different takes on this one. I hope one or two of you manage to take it places I wanted to but, in the end, did not.

Had a very social day, as we went up to Penticton to have lunch with some of Kat's relatives before coming home to have a potluck BBQ with some friends on our deck. Really enjoyed it, even though it was a much busier day off than we usually have.

Mine:

A phone call is all it takes. Dial the number, leave the details, walk away from your problems. He will arrive in your absence, stone-faced and ready to go to war. His van will lurk in your driveway, unmarked yet menacing, while he performs his work.

That work will be brutally efficient and thorough. No target will be missed, no survivors will remain. That is his solemn guarantee and it has never been broken.

You will return to a home, or an office, or a store, and there will be no trace of his presence. More importantly, there will be no signs of the problem he was brought in to eliminate. You will be satisfied.

And he, as he sits alone by his phone awaiting his next assignment, will beg forgiveness for what he has done.

4 Comments:

Greg Bennett said...

Ah, you've been at the comments again! Only a page and half still to go... ;-) Still, well done, I can appreciate how long it takes to sit and down and reply to us all!
It does sound like a very social day! Very pleasant indeed. A lot of mine was taken up with taking the dog to meet four other chihuahuas, one of which is going to picked to be the father of her puppies. The three boys were all very interested in her, but she pretty much had them under control by the end of the getting-to-know-you time, I'm pleased to say. The other girl was a little stand-offish, but I think the female dogs are like that with each other.
Hmm, your exterminator seems to have some demons of his own there! I wonder if they contribute to his efficiency? Lovely writing.

The exterminator
The doctor pressed the little button on the intercom to let his secretary know to send the next patient in. They came in without bothering to open the door first, and splinters of wood exploded in all directions. When the doctor lowered the arm shielding his face, he saw that his patient was a malfunctioning cyborg.
"Oh dear," he said. "What does your internal diagnostician say?" He pulled back the curtain that concealed the cyborg-instruments from the normal humans who came to his office.
"Sarah Connorrrrrrr," droned the cyborg. "Connorrrrrr."
"That bad?" The doctor pulled a chunky cable free from the wall and pushed it somewhere personal on the cyborg. There was a sparking, and the cyborg sat down suddenly.
"Crap," muttered the doctor, pushing it over so he could unplug the cable. That was the problem with these ex-Terminators – the damage was always more severe that you anticipated.

morganna said...

Greg stole my pun! :) Oh well, here goes ...

He used to kill for a living
But now he just smiles in pity,
Seeing their vans on the highway,
'Cause now he's better than them
He's the ex-terminator.

MosesMalone said...

June 7, 1997 The Extermination of 901 Sycamore Rd.

“Yo, Man. You gots to be exterminating these digs, yo. Fly honeys be buggin’.” Donny Bow-wow Doggie Miller

“No shit?” Reginald Archie Bad Reg Miller

“I shit you not my friend.” Donny Bow-wow Doggie Miller

“Cool, yo. Put Hot Heidi and crew in my pad. Leave the beasts, rodents, and beat chicks like Betts down here. Gimme 5 to call the Exterminator.” Reginald Archie Bad Reg Miller

5 minutes later

“Awwww shit! Five-o! I repeat the PoPo's outside. Go the f*** home.” Reginald Archie Bad Reg Miller

10 minutes later

“Betts? I didn’t see any cops or Heidi’s bitches leave. You?” Beat Betts Homegirl

“Nope. Gimme that phone.” Beat Betts


“911. What’s your emergency?” 911 operator

“I think someone broke into 901 Sycamore. Can you send someone there?” Beat Betts

Marc said...

Greg - I can almost see the end from here...

I hope your dog manages to find a suitable partner! Playing matchmaker for chihuahuas sounds... challenging.

Ah, excellent - you went with one of the takes I was sorely tempted to do myself. And had great fun with it as well, it seems :)

Morganna - you too! Haha, great minds...

Mo - I'm finding this one a little confusing, but that might just be because it's late and I should have been in bed quite some time ago.