You, or a character of your creation, are the recipient of an award (of your choosing). It is time to give the big acceptance speech. Except this one will not be big.
It will only last four lines.
Well, I think we can all agree that it's about bloody time.
I mean, honestly, with all the work I've done, all the sacrifices I've made, it's obvious I should have received this award years ago. What sort of inbred, backwater hillbilly would you have to be in order to not see such a simple truth?
Speaking of which... if the head of the selection committee could make his way up to the stage now, I'd love to take this Lifetime Humanitarian Achievement Award and shove it somewhere special.