Sunday March 9th, 2014

The exercise:

Write about something: inappropriate.

But, like, not too inappropriate. You know what? I trust you guys. Just use your best judgment.

Spent part of the morning with Max at the park, because the weather was absolutely beautiful. There were lots of other kids there and, best of all, two ducks that didn't have the good sense to fly away when Max started chasing them.

They just kept walking, looking back over their shoulders, and walking some more. I could not stop laughing.

Mine:

There was a birthday party for a nine year old boy and his friends at the alley yesterday afternoon. The only parents present were his but they did a pretty good job keeping the seven kids under control and they even helped clean up afterward.

Sometimes, that's better than a tip.

Anyway. The CD player in the alley is broken but we have a jack people can plug their phones into if they want to play music over the speakers. Dad had his iPhone with him so I got them sorted out and the tunes began to play.

For the first, I don't know, hour or so it was totally fine. Then songs of a... less appropriate nature started playing. In my opinion, at least. I don't know. Personally, I won't be busting out Best I Ever Had (uh, lyric warning for those of you not paying enough attention) at Max's... well, at any of his birthday parties.

So I was feeling a little uncomfortable but also figured it wasn't my place to say anything. They were the only group in the bowling alley so I let it go. I was keeping an eye on the kids though, curious to see if they were listening or just too busy having fun. As best I could tell they were too focused on bowling.

A bit later Mom came up to the counter and started surfing through the playlist. Then her son joined her, and I could tell by the way he approached that he had a song request. I was expecting something more age appropriate.

"Mom, can you play Balls In Your Mouth?"

... never mind, then.

2 Comments:

Greg said...

Heh, I like the ducks, and their common sense to not fly away but keep the game going :) Sounds like Max had great fun as well.
As for the songs... well, I thought Balls in your Mouth was hilarious :) I guess ultimately it's up to the parents to decide what's appropriate, so I think you did the right think letting them get on with it. It was a personal iPod after all, and they were paying for the venue.
But yeah, I can see that you might choose slightly more suitable songs for Max's birthdays :)

Inappropriate
Master San looked around the dojo; his practised eye counted fourteen dead ninjas lying contorted in positions of agony. Next to him, radiating nervousness, was the fifteenth.
"Master San," said the ninja, working hard to make sure his voice stayed level. "Are you sure that this drug is appropriate?"
Master San looked over the bodies, counting them again, and then looked at the small vial in his hand.
"It is important," he said, his voice oddly distant, "that you take a poison before embarking on a mission, so that you cannot be captured and betray us." There was a long pause. "So it is written."
"Could I see where it is written?"
There was another long pause, and the ninja was sure that Master San was counting the bodies again. "Perhaps... perhaps that would not be inappropriate... at this time."
Master San walked down the corridor formed by bamboo panels and opened the door to the tea-room. Inside – and it was barely big enough for two people – he took a scroll from a hidden cupboard in the sideboard where the tea set waited when not in use, and unrolled it. The ninja looked at it.
"Here," said Master San, pointing at a column of pictographic text. "You see, it talks about the poison. This scroll was written by Grandmaster Yao."
The ninja ran his finger confidently down the column of text, and then paused, his finger just below an intricate character.
"Master," he said, his voice low and gentle. "What does this character mean to you?"
"Oh, I coulnd't read that one," said Master San. "Grandmaster Yao has a number of such characters. I think he made them up, which is inappropriate of someone in his place."
"It means slow-acting," said the ninja. "Master San, would it be appropriate, do you think, for me to review the rest of these scrolls?"
When he got no repsonse after a couple of seconds he looked up from the scroll and saw that Master San's gaze was a thousand-yard stare, and that the poison bottle was now empty.

Marc said...

Greg - yeah, I think they were enjoying themselves too. Max has that effect on people/animals/everybody.

Yeah, Jimmy Fallon's songs are generally pretty great. I didn't really think that song of his was especially inappropriate, I was just expecting the request to be... something else :)

Well, I'm glad the fifteenth ninja had enough sense to question what was going on. Even if his master did not :P

Loved your descriptions in this one, by the way, as I almost always do.