Sunday October 18th, 2015

The exercise:

Write about: the stuntman.

Tomorrow is the big day. The Canadian Federal Election, Version 2015. Please, Canada, get this one right.

Fair warning: if Harper gets re-elected, yet again, tomorrow's post is going to be a very, very grumpy one.


You're probably wondering why I do it. Put up with all the bumps and bruises and broken bones. Danger and death as constant companions, always hanging about the house. Not always keeping to the shadows either.

Is it the money? Yeah, it's all right. It would have to be, wouldn't it? Jobs like this don't attract people because of the glamour or prestige or being of service to others. Sure, it attracts more than its fair share of crazies. But that's not what it's about for me.

At least I don't think it is.

I still haven't answered your question, have I? My apologies. I suppose I needed some time to think about it in order to give you an honest answer. I'd hate to be flippant. Or say something I don't mean and then be unable to take it back. I hate when that happens.

And it happens to me a lot.

You'd think I'd be more careful with my words. Or maybe you wouldn't think that at all. Maybe you think I'm as crazy as the rest of them. But I'm not. It's all about love, nothing more.

So there's your answer, I guess. I married this nutcase of a stuntman because I loved him more than any man I'd ever met and that hasn't changed. That's why I'm still by his side, whether he's standing tall or lying in a hospital bed.

Though, lately, it sure seems like more of the latter, doesn't it?


Greg said...

Which team does Harper play for again? I believe the best way to deal with politicians you're not fond of is to consider that you could have Rob Ford instead. Or that you could do what the UK Labour party have just done and regress nearly 30 years by electing someone to their leadership as a protest....
Hah, well, I definitely didn't see that ending coming! Even when you started talking about love and the little alarms in the back of mind started warning me that something was amiss I didn't stop and spot what you were up to, so well done withe misdirection! And the hints of loneliness scattered through too, they really convince me that she's married to the stuntman.

The stuntman
"Dr. Carberry will see you soon," said the receptionist. Her eyelids were drooping and her voice suggested she was extremely tired.
"No," said Betty, putting her voluminous handbag down on the counter. It stopped either of them from being able to see each other, so they resorted to leaning this way and that until they could make eye contact again. "My doctor is Dr. Angelus."
"Dr. Carberry will see you today," said the receptionist. She yawned.
"Dr. Angelus was struck off, dear," said Alice.
"What!" Betty picked her bag up, which rattled like it contained an entire canteen of cutlery and glared at the receptionist.
"It's true," said the receptionist. "He was prescribing melamine-containing milk to children."
"He never!"
"Ooh, yes, he did," said Alice. "They were all getting it special from China until they found it out was a contaminant and should never have been sold, let alone exported." She was already sat in the waiting area with her legs stretched out in front of her. "He also prescribed hake from the lake."
"What, the one with all the mercury in it?" Betty stuck her tongue out at the receptionist and went to sit by Alice.
"Yes, that's right. And then they found out he'd swapped all the sweets in the vending machine with thalidomide, and that was when they decided they had to do something."
"But why?" Betty stuck her legs out as well; the two elderly women now entirely obstructed that aisle of the waiting room.
"They all cause growth slowdown and posture defects," said the receptionist. "When they dragged him out of here, and I mean dragged, you can still see the bloody scratches on the walls where he was trying to hold on to things, he was screaming, 'I'm the stuntman! I'm the stuntman!'"
"Coo," said Betty. "Do you think he stunted my growth too then?"
Alice, who was a foot shorter than Betty, snorted with laughter.

Marc said...

Greg - the losing one, as it turns out :P (Actual answer: the Conservative Party). Oh, and just for the record? Harper was endorsed by Ford. In person. Pictures, shaking hands, all that nonsense. I think no more need be said on the matter now.

Thanks! I was going to take a more direct approach but then decided I'd see if that one worked. Glad it did :)

And consider me impressed that you managed to take this slant on the prompt. Also: some truly wonderful details in here. The bit with the handbag being my favorite.