Thursday December 15th, 2016

The exercise:

Write about: spiders.

Had the boys in town this morning while Kat was with a counselling client. All I shall say about that is that summer is a much easier time to be in charge of the both of them. Well, I'll also add: I miss warmer days, when multiple layers were not required every time we stepped out the front door.

After lunch I brought Max back to the dentist for another cleaning. He did really well again. I think he surprised the hygienist with how easy going he was about everything.

Nothing, from what I can recall, like his old man in that regard.

Mine:

"Ooh, look at these ones! Reginald! Come quick! Before they all disappear into the cave walls again!"

"Goodness me, Archibald! Such magnificent coloring and markings! And so big, too!"

"Have you ever seen anything like them?"

"No, never! Perhaps we've discovered a previously unknown variety!"

"Wouldn't that just be so exciting, Reginald?"

"Oh, most definitely yes, Archibald! Why, look at this fellow here! Isn't he a large one?"

"My word! That might be the biggest spider I've ever seen! And doesn't he just look like he's watching you? Such intelligent eyes."

"Yes, yes! Watch how he tracks me as I move side to side. Fascinating, isn't.... aaaahhhhh!"

"Oooh, he's a jumper, Reginald! And a biter too, from the looks of it!"

"Argmalahlahannuuurgh!"

"I'm sorry, what was that Reginald? Reginald? Really, Reginald... this is no time to be lying down on the job! Reginald...?"

2 Comments:

Greg said...

I can imagine it's a little harder with small kids when you have to worry about keeping them warm, and what they get up to when they're inside instead of outside. It sounds like you managed though!
I'd kind of forgotten that people go to the dentist regularly: I try to avoid them as much as possible. Mostly bad experiences as a child, plus a degree of laziness that would make a cat envious :)
I would like to say that I'd like to hear more from Reginald and Archibald, but it sounds like only Archibald is making it home from this adventure. I really like their enthusiasm for spiders though, and how excited they are about what seems like a swarm of them. They set an excellent example to children and arachnophobics everywhere :)

Spiders
Snow has fallen and the temperature dropped. The doors are locked against Jack Frost; the windows are secure. The wood-fired stove is set for the night; yellow flames flicker indistinctly behind smoked glass and heat convects outwards, carried by invisible currents of air to every corner of the house. Up to the wooden walls, which they gently heat.
In the space inside the walls the heat slowly permeates, finally enabling a chemical reaction to take place. It is shortly after two in the morning when the slow enzymatic changes culminate, and the white, wispy sacs start to split. Like paper they tear apart, and legs emerge two at a time, two more, two more, and yet two more. A few at first, and then a cascade as pointed feet tear into the sacs and help their occupants come free. There's not much space between the walls, and wood is brittle in the cold....
Walls explodes and spiders launch themselves across the room, newly born and starving. They eat each other and anything else they find, massing on top of humans and animals, weighing them down, stopping them breathing, and then feasting in a macabre orgy.
Investigators will find the house wrapped in snow-white webbing four days later and three more lives will be given before the secrets of the spider-house are known.

Marc said...

Greg - ah, you never know. Reginald might just be temporarily out of commission. I feel as though his enthusiasm is strong enough to get him back on his feet and on another adventure before too long!

Hah, I see you've managed to avoid continuing your tale here. I thought you'd introduce some spiders into your catacombs but alas, not to be. Don't worry, I'm not too disappointed :P

And besides! I got this instead, and this is... well, it's fucking horrifying, if you'll excuse my language. In fact, I read it earlier at work and I'm choosing not to read it again now because I'd like to be able to sleep tonight.

I'm not sure I can manage a bigger compliment than that, so I shall leave it at that. Good night!