Wednesday October 27th, 2010

The exercise:

The countdown to November continues with: the knight.

More background work today. I think I'm going to enjoy writing his scenes. Does that make me a bad person?

Mine:

Sir Dustin Drake - "Dusty" to absolutely no one with any interest in living - strode into the academy's reception hall and stopped to examine his surroundings. Stroking his well-oiled mustache, he sniffed twice to show that he was unimpressed, then moved to the welcome desk to his left.

"Good morrow, sir knight," the woman seated there said. "How are you on this beaut-"

"I am in need of a new squire," Dustin informed the air five inches above her head. "Preferably a more... durable one this time."

"Oh... I see. And what exactly happened to your previous one?"

"Dragon."

"Oh, good heavens! I'm so sorry -"

"Yes, terribly sad and all that," Dustin said as he inspected his fingernails. "But whatever can we do but carry on? So." He leaned towards her, placing his hands on the counter between them. "What are my options like today?"

"I think," the woman replied after a slight hesitation, "I have just the young man for you. Please, follow me."

8 Comments:

g2 (la pianista irlandesa) said...

Not at all! Writing a guy who, from this, seems like a total jerk is a good way to vent! Third derivative of displacement he is (fardwocks, I love nerd jokes...), he still seems like a fun character to write.

This is kinda-sorta-maybe a continuation of Monday's post

You're welcome ^^
- - - - - - - - - -
The Knight

Below the asphalt and concrete, in the bowels of the old theater--or even in the bowels of the bowels, its occupant liked to think sometimes--a shadow stirred. There was no explaining it, but there was something different about the place when somebody else was there.

This would need taking care of, the shadow decided.

And moving as shadows do, the theater's sole occupant wound up and around and through the building's skeleton with astonishing speed, without so much as disturbing more than a few puffs of dust or making a sound.

They called this shadow, this enigma, this creature The King.

But he was no king in his mind. He was no mere monarch surveying his domain from afar. No, he was more active than that. He went out and knew his domain like the back of his hand; his knowledge of the place was greater and sturdier than the thick foundation of the building itself, the foundation that, despite its age and multiple introductions to demolition crews, simply refused to budge.

This was his land, he was its scout. His place was to keep it alive, keep it strong, keep it safe. This was his duty to his domain, and he the knight to execute that duty.
- - - - - - - - - -
Sorry, two link fails. You can find Monday's, I can't wrestle with technology now.

summerfield said...

marc, excellent description: i could see your knight, a spitting image of a bemoustached jeremy irons. that is just plain wonderful!

g2, i am awaiting what comes after this. more! please.

mine:
the knight

The beautiful Queen stands in front of the gentleman kneeling before her. She gracefully taps his shoulders with the sword, first the left, then the right. But when she lifts the sword, she starts to say something, looks around at her audience, mouths gaping, eyes unbelieving.

She giggles. Softly at first and she tries to suppress it and the trembling of her shoulders could not be controlled. Then she bursts into a loud laughter.

The gentleman gets up from his kneeling position, swears the "f" word, and lifts his arms in total exasperation.

"Cut!" the director says. "What's going on here? This is take thirty-five, for God's sakes!"

She continues to laugh until tears flow from her eyes. The make-up artist rushes to her and tries to wipe the eye shadows that have smudged her cheeks. When after a few minutes she recovers, she faces the gentleman, his annoyance at her evident in his eyes, and she gives him the sign of the cross.

"You are now a knight in tights!" now she starts to laugh even harder, puts two fingers in her mouth and makes a loud whistle at the actor playing knight who walks away from the set.

Heather said...

Marc- Ohhh, I like this dastardly villain of sorts! I would love to read more about this man.

G2- I am curious how the girl is safe around the shadow. (You haven't said so directly, but there was a very brief part that you alluded to her safety in your piece on Monday.)

Summerfield- funny!
------
Dark in body, cold in heart, eyes that shine as brilliant as the North star, he draws people to him. He romances shadows and the idea of danger even when neither is present. Women fall into open lover's arms, certain they are hidden by his arrival while children cower in fear, calling for their mothers to comfort them. He is an entity in and of himself.

The royal court calls for him. They ask to honor him and although he attends their call he always departs by morning, leaving their tokens behind and taking with him their vivid imaginations. He is the night.

And if he could be embodied, he would ride tall on a dark steed in a suit of pitch black with a lance as cold as deepest winter. A knight of a different sort.

Greg said...

@g2: great atmosphere, and there's something in your writing reminiscent of mid 20th century writers I think. Your character comes across as more of a king than a knight to me, but that doesn't detract from the story!

@summerfield: heh, your story takes me back to my acting days! Really well described, I've had rehearsals that were just like that (minus the camera of course!)

@heather: wow, your essence of a dark knight is deep and vibrant; my thoughts keep wandering back to it!

@marc: you made me laugh :) I'm sure squires aren't supposed to be durable, so I'm siding with Dustin in this! There's some very neat characterisation going on in just those few lines -- do you think that last year's NaNoWriMo has changed how you write about characters now?

The Knight
The son of the Orchid King,
The Knight of Pretty Flowers waits
For his horse to be saddled up.
The grooms laugh and joke, but the Fates
Have decreed this thing.

He must ride to a war whose ruinous cost
Have spent the Kingdom's coffers bare,
The Knight of Pretty Flowers is sad,
He does not want to ride to there,
For he knows his life is already lost.

Watermark said...

The air was filled with exciting anticipation and all eyes were on the clock tower. It was only a matter of seconds and the parade would begin. Then it happened. As the bells chimed signalling the start of the festival, the dragon appeared. He swooped across rooftops and trees with his wings spread wide in majestic awe. On his back rode the knight in all his glory. Sword in hand, his shining armour reflected the happiness down below. Cheers and confetti rose in unison at the sight and the musicians belted out. There was nothing to fear from this day on. The knight had arrived and had saved them from the threats in the land. A gory battle had left many dead but those remaining were no match for mighty Hagan, the chosen knight.

Zhongming said...

Wow, it's great to see so many great writings floating around here - I’m certainly enjoying my time reading all the wonderful writings! Above all, I think that upcoming nanowrimo challenge must have invoked and motivated you all as well. Anyway good luck with the nanowrimo and I thank you people for your valuable comments! :)

---

The Knight

In order to save the princess from harm, the king of the east has sent out whole bunch of his most experienced and well verse knights called “The Invincible Loyalist”. As you can see from the group’s name, most of them were fairly loyal to the king. Some of them have served for their entire life since the day they were born into this world.

They train day and night regardless of any weather of the four seasons. They were taught to survive in dangerous missions that they could simply died while training, most of the time.

The instructor would just shout at them with his finger pointing at their fault that he saw. Then the knights would dress up like a rock with full body steel amour, a large sword and their shinny shield with a cross embedded to it. That cross signifies that they must fight to win and survive at the same time.

After they were bought on the Warfield, they were also taught to march like an army while riding on their own horse. The more advance class of knight actually fights with a long spear. They were taught to pierce through the heart of their enemy while learning to retain their pace and balance with the horse.

The princess was captured when she was sleeping at night. The guards were left stranded when the enemy caught them off guard during wee hours. They were totally knocked out by them. It’s all too late when they regain conscious the very next day.

The king’s advisor Troy has been appointed as the leader of “The Invincible Loyalist” for their plan to rescue the princess. The reason for appointing Troy was partly due to his intelligence of laying the bricks – great strategies of the kingdom. He helped the east to numerous winnings of the war for many decades. That alone easily won him the title of best strategies of the east and he was one of the highly regarded figures in the kingdom. They would never want to go to a war without his presence.

They finally set out to the south, where the enemy kept the princess. After a long trip, they finally arrive at the kingdom of south where the leader of two regions should meet.

“Open the damn gate, you morons!” said: Troy. It was part of the disturbance strategy that he had planned long and hard the night before. He was expecting some riots and maybe a chance to talk to the highest authorities which might provide them with substantial chances to negotiate for the freedom of their princess.

“Show em what we got!” Says, Alfred! That was their frontline paladin commander. “Sing in the name of our pride!” And then they began to sing loudly as to show that their vast number of battalion is unfazed at all by their small amount of troop.

Troy’s plan was to attack the enemy weak spot, a small crack by the east of their castle. Most of the knights were deployed over there without much variation of the entire army base. He somehow managed to streamline the whole operation and made it look like they’re asking for a complete defeat.

morganna said...

Zerjerik hesitated. He liked the young one, liked his spirit in standing up to his father. But Zerjerik's honor as a knight of the Mungeera dragons was at stake. Jeric was leading them all into trouble, and Zerjerik knew it. He sighed and set off to tell Christalos.

Continued on my blog at Dragon Land Part Nine

I ran into the character limit :(

Marc said...

g2 - great imagery in there. Fun stuff :)

Summerfield - haha, I think if 'knight in tights' occurred to me I'd have done the same thing :)

Heather - fantastic descriptions. Beautifully written.

And thank you, glad you liked my knight :)

Greg - hmm, good question. Not consciously, but I think you might be on to something. Perhaps just a greater willingness to explore the darker sides of characters?

I think I laughed every time I read 'Knight of Pretty Flowers'.

Watermark - this prompt really brought out some great imagery. The dragon flying low over the rooftops with a knight riding him really captured my imagination.

Zhongming - that was some great storytelling! Really nicely done.

Morganna - ah, excellent! I was hoping this week's prompts would trigger more dragon stories! Now I just have to get caught up.

I think I'll just start back at the beginning, it's been much too long.