Monday September 14th, 2015

The exercise:

Write about: stickers.

Because Max got several packages of stickers from his cousin's birthday party and most of them are currently attempting to take over our house by sheer force of numbers.

This morning I mowed the lawn, washed the kitchen floor, and cleaned the bathroom. You'd think we have visitors coming or something.

Oh wait, we do. My aunt and uncle are dropping by tomorrow, having just finished their visit with my parents. After us they'll be seeing my sister and brother-in-law in Calgary and then it's homeward bound to Montreal.

It'll be fun to see them with Max again, as it has been quite a while since last time.

Mine:

"Uh, excuse me, sir?"

"Yes? What is it?"

"You, um... you have a-"

"Spit it out already! Can't you see that I'm busy?"

"No. Yes, of course. I mean..."

"You've got to be kidding me. I'm too busy for this crap. See ya."

"No, wait! It's just that there's a-"

"Seriously? You're still talking to me? What could possibly be so important that you'd bother me with your nagging?"

"You know what? Never mind. Have a good day."

"Thank you. I will."

"... you look good with that My Little Pony sticker on your back anyway."

4 Comments:

Greg said...

Your family sound quite nomadic from the times we hear about them; they always seem to be travelling around Canada and visiting people. It's kind of nice, really :) And... Kat lets you get away with only cleaning the bathroom when you've got company coming? I'm not sure I believe that :-P
Heh, I like how your poor hero tries to find a way to tell the other guy what the problem is but is constantly shut down. I've known people like that (in fact, i've worked with them); yeah, you pretty much do always end up walking away and letting them sort their problems out by themselves. Just like you describe :)

Stickers
"Ooh, pot stickers!" Madeleine picked up her chopsticks, wished briefly that she had a fork instead, and then hoisted one out of the dish and over to her plate.
"Gyoza," said Lady Agatha.
"Oh really mother," said Madeleine, her heart thumping in her chest at her audacity, "gyoza sounds so pretentious. They stick to the pot, so they're pot-stickers."
There was a moment's silence, just long enough for Madeleine to contemplate killing herself by stabbing herself with the chopsticks. Then, "Is your therapist still telling you to stand up for yourself?" asked Lady Agatha. She sounded conversational. "I think I told you already the first person you should try standing up to is that wretched therapist."
"Actually she's on holiday," said Madeleine. "She went skiing in den Hague. It was very short notice, but apparently it was a true bargain of a trip."
"I should think so," said Lady Agatha, who was well aware that den Hague was in the astonishingly flat Netherlands and definitely wouldn't have snow at this time of year. "Let's hope she comes back."
"These pot stickers taste very... gamey," said Madeleine. She dunked it in the dish of soy sauce, then dunked it again, and then a third time, hoping that she wouldn't be able to taste the pot sticker.
"Badger," said Lady Agatha.
"Bleurgh?"
"Don't speak with your mouthful, dear. You look like a poor person. It's badger. The chihuahuas were out in the garden and unearthed one. You should have seen the dirt fly as they dug it out of its sett."
"But they're terribly vicious!" Madeleine was trying to control her stomach, Lady Agatha would not forgive her vomiting at the table.
"So are badgers, dear. The dogs won, as I thought they would, so I thought I'd find out why people don't eat more badger meat."
"It tastes dreadful!"
"Thank-you for the review, dear. I'll let cook know. She can donate the rest to the homeless shelter, I'm sure people there are less fussy than you. Perhaps you try a vol-au-vent next?"
"More badger?"
"Squirrel."

Lorie Davis said...

When I was little, I remember going to the bank with my grandma and little brother. Of course, my grandmother would drive the car there and my brother and I would always sit in the back seat in our booster seats. We were both in booster seats because he outgrew me pretty quickly although he was two years younger, and neither of us met the weight/age requirement to ditch the booster seats. On the way to the bank we would listen to Eddie Fox on 99.9 Kiss Country and sing along the whole way there. My brother and I always enjoyed going to the bank because we knew that they would always give us suckers and stickers. When we arrived to the bank, we went through drive thru and my grandmother would put her check and deposit slips in the cylinder object and hit a button and it would shoot it into the bank through a tube looking portal. The lady would then perform perfect customer service and ask a series of questions, which would always end with, "Would you guys like and suckers or stickers?" Our eyes would light up and we would get excited, jumping up and down in our car seats! The lady would give out a empathetic sigh and a kind smile as she gave us the stickers.
When we got the stickers, we would immediately, without my grandmother knowing, peel the back off of the stickers and smack them on the windows. At our age, we thought everyone outside the car could see the stickers, so we had quite a collection going on in the Jeep Grand Cherokee. After words, my grandmother would always scold us, but we were rebels and did it time after time. That is one of my most cherished moments growing up, it is one of those moments that I will think about time to time and always look back on with a smile.

Lauren Pardue said...

It is always a child’s biggest excitement getting stickers whether it be from making it through a shot at the doctors or doing a good thing in class. My worst and best memory of getting a sticker happened with a shot. Not just any shot though. A shot right in my butt when I was five. I woke up in the middle of the night because I could not breathe. I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror only to see myself turning a reddish purple. At that time and age anytime my sister or I would get up to go to the bathroom at night my mom would always wake up and come in their to check on us. Her motherly instinct probably saved me because as soon as she saw me I was of course rushed to the hospital. I do not remember much after that except the next morning I received the worst shot ever along with not one but fifteen stickers to go with it. That evening my family went to my grandmas where I was the envy of all my cousins and sister because I showed up with all my stickers in hand.

Marc said...

Greg - yes, well, as it turns out I've been doing pretty much everything around here while Kat was dealing with morning sickness, so some things end up sliding :P

That was unpleasant. But not unpleasant in the way I was expecting it to be when there was some discussion over whether or not the therapist would be returning!

Lorie - hello and welcome to the blog! Thanks for sharing your writing here with us.

This is a great childhood memory that brought a great big smile to my face. All the neat little details and descriptions really brought this to life.

Hope to see more writing from you here!

Lauren - hello and welcome to the blog to you too! Thanks for sharing your writing here with us.

Holy cow, that would be a scary experience - for all involved! I'm glad that it turned out all right and that you got a pretty sweet sticker collection out of the deal :)

Hope to see more writing from you here as well.