Tuesday March 2nd, 2010

The exercise:

I managed to survive the opening segment of my NaNoWriMo novel last night without having an aneurysm, so I guess it wasn't that bad. I think the most galling thing was seeing words that had been left out.

Kat and I are in the beginning stages of shopping for a used car.

So this week's Two Haiku Tuesday is brought to you by: car shopping.

Mine:

I can't believe it!
This one's totally perfect!
... Does it come in red?

*     *     *

The greasy salesman
says it's a steal. The police
would seem to agree.

5 Comments:

summerfield said...

hi! how about that crosby kid eh? nah, i didn't even watch the game. couldn't or i would've had a heart attack, so i did karaoke. and i found that that's how i'm going to shake this olympic thing off me so i could start writing again. :-)

so to start, let's go car shopping and let me try that haiku again:
-0-
what would it be now?
fire engine red, or dark blue?
banana yellow!

prime plus six percent
with free gas and a car wash
take it or leave it.
-0-

toodles!

Greg said...

Hehe, I find I miss words, usually small ones, out when I'm tired, and I completely agree that it's so frustrating to see that you've missed the verb (e.g. do) out when the rest of the sentence is beautifully articulate. Then again, when I get really tired I miss out the middles of sentences when I'm speaking, so maybe I should be grateful.

I like the Canadian pronunciation of about, I just can't work out what you're doing with the vowel sound to be able to copy it.

The second haiku is fantastic, it made me smile in a broad grin. The first one's good, just not as funny :)

Car shopping

All of these look good:
Sporty, Fast. But what I want
Is a railroad car.

-----

That's the third today,
How does anyone fit them
All in a trolley?

Tristan said...

I really like everyone's second haiku. Except mine. I prefer my first one. :)

He told me the price.
You´re crazy! I cried. He laughed.
I´ll take your leg, too.
°°°
Rolling colour field.
Ordered according to price.
Long walk to best deal.

g2 (la pianista irlandesa) said...

Haha! Liked the first one, as it reminded me of our family's Priusito Rojito (as I lovingly call it ^^), and the second one's just brilliant. Unfortunately my car-shopping knowledge is next door neighbors with didly-squat at best, so I don't think I could write anything decent even if I wanted to for this one.

However, if you really want something I could be completely irrelevant.
- - - - -
snack-apple-chiclets
in'tresting what your mind thinks
up when it's drifting
. . . . .
chaos it papers
my desk most hectically. I
can't find my homework
- - - - -
Completely irrelevant, yes, but hey! At least there're two hiakus! =D

Marc said...

Summerfield - good to see you again :)

Those are two fine haiku, but I think the banana yellow wins it for the first one.

Greg - yeah, it happens to me when I start writing in a rush. It's just cringe inducing when you see it in something that was so much about the word count, you know?

I like both of yours... the second one slightly more though :)

Tristan - haha, I like both of yours but I'll admit to preferring the first as well :)

g2 - two haiku are all I ask for (on Tuesdays anyway).

I really like your second one :)