Friday June 10th, 2011

The exercise:

This week's Four Lines of Prose Friday would like you to answer this question: what's it like?

I'll even give you a bonus fifth line to start things off, which has to be what you're answering. See mine to help you understand what I'm going on about.

Game 5 in Vancouver tonight ended in victory for the good guys, 1-0. So they're one win away from the Cup. Game 6 is Monday night in Boston. It can't come soon enough.

Back at the market tomorrow morning, so I should get to bed.


What's it like to handle the rototiller that we rented today to weed between our rows of veggies in the garden?

Well, picture yourself standing behind a reasonably sized bull. Now take two lengths of rope, and attach your left hand to it's left hind leg with one piece and your right hand to it's right hand leg with the other.

All set?

Okay, now kick him in the balls.


Greg said...

Was the rototiller a little stronger than you expected then? I'm not entirely surprised to be honest, all farm machinery seems to be a lot more powerful than you expect until you've used it for the first time :) Sounds like your weeds are well and truly whacked though!
And your description of it... well, I know now what it was like :)

OK, so my question is: "what's it like?" and my last (and fifth) line has to "OK, now kick him in the balls." I can do this.

What's it like?
What's it like to teach a child to surf when they're afraid of water?
Well, first you get a large and deep pit with padded foam sides and bottom. Then you fill it with colourful, plastic, air-filled balls of a uniform size. Then you put the surfboard on top of it all and tell your son to climb on.

Okay, now kick him in the balls.

Aaron said...

Marc- I laughed out loud when I read yours.
Greg- I laughed again and I like how everything is super kid safe and friendly until the ball crushing.
This is kind of a grandiose what it's like but I had a lot of fun and I wish I had the balls to do this because I hate traffic cops.

What's it like to really fight for freedom? It's like walking up to a motorcycle cop who is parked with his radar gun out and saying, "No one likes you! Everyone in the world thinks you are an asshole! The fact you picked this job where you ruin peoples day and driving records proves you are an asshole! Go Fuck YOURSELF!"
Okay, now kick him in the balls.

motherinToronto said...

What's it like to fly a ferry flight on a wide body airbus?

At take off, the crew gun the engines of a large passenger jet aircraft devoid of passengers and cargo. It feels like a vertical take off and is something like being strapped to a missle while pilots joke over the intercom back to their two passengers. Reaching altitude the pilots level suddenly and it feels like zero gravity in the cabin.

Okay, now kick him in the balls.

Heather said...

Marc- I couldn't help but laugh having used a rototiller before myself. Albeit for a very short period of time.

Greg- Your description of a pit reminded me of the foam pits used in gymnastics training. We call it the sock monster because kids can get out, but the socks never do.

Aaron- I hope you don't live in Michigan! My brother-in-law would not take to kindly to your tirade. Then again, he doesn't use a motorcycle when he's on the job.

Motherin Toronto- I would love to feel the weightlessness, but probably not the following dive. Yikes!

I took your directions differently. I took the extra line being the one where you tell us what the what is in the question. SO, I took that route rather than your last line.

It's uncertainty, desire, and hope being plucked from the soul one piece at a time. It's name-calling followed by a push, an accidental slap, some theft, and then cruelty just because they think they can. It's tears and threats, fearful apologies and turned backs that encourage anger and indignation to rise in a mother in defense of her cub. It's wishing it were another child, any other child, but never your own.

It's what it is like to watch your child fall victim to a bully and his friends.

Marc said...

Greg - the tiller just had a tendency to randomly run off on me. Kat's dad tried to convince me it only happened if I pushed down at the wrong time, or I hit a dip in the ground, but I was not convinced.

Sigh, look what you've done with that interpretation of the prompt. I blame all this ball kicking on you.

Regardless... that was well done :D

Aaron - I only dislike traffic cops when they give me a ticket. Which has only happened once, so they're low on my dislike list :P

Mother in T.O. - I am almost 100% certain that sort of flight would resulting in me tossing my cookies.

Heather - hurray for ignoring Greg's silliness!

And I like how you switched the question to the end, though I suspected that's what it would end up being.

That sounds absolutely heartbreaking and miserable :(