Friday June 3rd, 2011

The exercise:

Four lines of prose that have something to do with: ripe.

We were weeding and spreading more wood shavings around the strawberries this morning. It was crazy hot out, but I kept forgetting because I kept noticing strawberries that were getting very close to ripe. Give it a few days and I'll be stuffing them in my mo... er, we'll be selling them.

Ahem.

Market tomorrow!

Mine:

"They're ripe for the picking," the speaker at the other end of the line told me and then hung up.

I flipped my cell phone shut and stuck it in my jacket pocket before finishing my drink. After a final look around the room, I made my way to the door and out into the cool night air. I hailed a cab and directed the driver to my ex-wife's house; she was out on the town and my kids were there alone.

7 Comments:

Greg said...

Is there anything that tastes better than strawberries-just-picked than raspberries-just-picked? I can quite understand why they were so distracting! It sounds like the weather's picked up a little again for you though.
(Poor Mr. Wriggles! Mexico's a long way to get blown!)
Neat little twist today :)

Ripe
"RIPE is an acronym," said the speaker, slowing down and enunciating carefully as though her audience were all stupid. "We use it instead of the actual words, to conceal what we mean."
In the audience, a number of undercover agents surreptitiously turned up the gain on their recording apparatus.
"RIPE stands for Rapid Isolation of Potential Enemies," said the speaker as the agents found themselves suddenly surrounded by angry-looking people.

Aaron said...

Hello fellow writers it has been too long.

Ripe
The harvest in my heart is ripening quite well
The field of the world ripened it to sell
But can I pick this fruit of feeling?
Dare I gather this fruit of healing?
Heart fruit is made of love and life
But it ripens when the world is strife.
Eaten by those who cannot idle
Eaten by those not in denial
The harvest in my heart is ripening quite well
It grows inside to feed my soul
So when the world is hell and woe
I will not need to feed only hunker down
Harvest my strength and spread
Heart seed.

motherinToronto said...

They picked up the fifteen year old girl driving a rundown silver 1987 Dodge Charger with her mother's ripe corpse laying in the backseat. The Arizona desert had only aggravated the stench permeating from the run down old car. How long had this kid been driving this body around? What the hell was wrong with her?

Sorry, it's a bit dark but I thought of a ripened body.

Heather said...

Marc- So many things to say, but I shall restrain myself. I am curious to see how your writings change if you ever have children. You seem to like to see them with a father figure.

Greg- Always devious in your writing. Always.

Aaron- Very well done.

Motherin Toronto- I can't help link the last line in your story to your apology. I wonder, were you questioning where your own thought came from?

Marc- I blame you (and my husband) for this. You planted the seed. he turned on the television as I was contemplating what to write.
------

The day dawned hot and humid and stayed that way late into the evening. I rushed from place to place, carefully laying out an assortment of snacks: pretzels, chips, salsa, and cheese dips. My friends arrived ripe with anticipation and the desire to see the cup in winning hands. Only overtime would decide Bruins or Canucks.

Marc said...

Greg - have you ever had a cherry fresh off the tree? Crazy good.

I like that you managed to turn the prompt into an acronym. Nicely done :)

Aaron - hey, good to see you here again!

I really liked how you brought the poem to an end. Great last two lines in particular.

Mother in Toronto - welcome to the blog, and thanks for sharing your writing with us :)

No need to apologize for dark! I liked that you conveyed a lot in only four lines, and enjoyed the effect of shorter lines as you went on.

Heather - I suspect my writing will definitely change should I become a dad. Also: the father figure thing must be totally sub-conscious, because I certainly wasn't doing it intentionally.

And... I accept full responsibility :D

Woo, Canucks!

motherinToronto said...

Heather - Any connection between my apology and my last line wasn't conscious.

Marc - Thanks for the welcome. And thnks for the site, I haven't tried doing writing exercises except for nanowrimo. I learned that I can write lots and lots of words. Not necessarily any good material though.

Not sure how much I should really comment on other peoples writing just yet.

Marc said...

Mom in T.O. - yeah, NaNo is a heck of an experience. I think now that I've done it twice I'm done with it, but I learned a lot.

And if you're writing, you're welcome to comment. Heck, even if you're not! Everyone appreciates a bit of feedback.

I only ask that comments be supportive and constructive - we have a pretty friendly atmosphere here :)