The exercise:
Two haiku about: the night.
Had a productive morning in the garden before the rain came along and washed away the rest of the day. Thankfully it also brought a good nap with it.
Oh, almost forgot. The marmot in our front yard yesterday:
Mine:
Moon and stars above,
Sleeping bodies all around;
The sun lies in wait.
* * *
Alone in the dark,
Thoughts expand until they make
Me feel very small.
10 comments:
The marmot looks cute -- I guess it's about the same size as a squirrel? My dog would be after it like a shot.
Does it feel a little weird having to adjust each day according to the weather, instead of sitting in a climate-controlled building watching it happen to other people?
I like your second haiku best today; there's something oddly sinister about the first one though.
The night
Not so noble now,
He hangs his head, looks away...
The knight's lost his K.
------
Bring me my cloak, for
I, Erebos's sister,
Choose to hide the sky.
The Night
Winter's shadow fell,
But the Night's lights twinkle;
Fire glows against snow.
******
A turtle's shell thaws,
In the log circle.
The forest sighs contentedly.
Greg: Looks like a good expression of shame if I understood correctly.
Marc: Are you feeling a little overwhelmed? :)
If I had seen the mammot, I wouldn't have known what it was to start with. I used to know my wildlife but started getting it wrong moving continents.
Greg -- marmots are a little bigger than squirrels, and heftier (at least the ones in the northern US are, I don't know about southern Canadian ones :) ) although that one looks a little small for a marmot -- maybe it's a young one.
The garden quiets
Lithe leaping shape nips my leg
Who!? Neighbor kitty.
The Night
Darkness for to dream
Silence so we can hear this
Wordless lullaby
Softly moving time
Stars twinkle on the sleeping
Under this black sky
Haikus always surprise me with delight
Greg - as Morganna said, this one is a young'n. The ones I've seen in previous years were a bit larger.
It's a little different, but I like living more in tune with nature.
I love your first haiku :)
Mother in T.O. - beautiful imagery in your first one. And the first time I saw one I wasn't sure what the hell it was either :)
Morganna - if that cat did that to me, I'd pee my pants. Not good with night creatures of any sort :P
Aaron - lovely first haiku, though it works better for me if the 'to' was an 'us'.
Really like the second one as well. I think you really captured that late night feeling.
Aaron - bah, I read that too quickly. 'Darkness for us dream' makes no sense.
How about 'Darkness for our dreams'?
Sorry about that. I think I need sleep.
The Night
Heart pounding, sweaty
Barking dog, lights flash outside
Why is she so late?
********
Stars blink through cloud wisps
Soft grass, blanket, glass of wine
Finals are over
Aholiab - great atmosphere in the first one, wonderful imagery in the second. Great stuff :)
That is interesting that you would pick out that line to edit. That line obsessed me while I wrote these haikus something about it speaks to me, "Darkness for to dream." I wrote so many different second and third lines hoping to complete the haiku with that same wonderment "darkness for to dream" stirred in me but I remain only partially satisfied. I did have "darkness for our dreams" but it doesn't move me the same way. I appreciate the input your comments always mean a lot to me.
Aaron - ah, I can see what you were going for now. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on it, that really helps me to understand.
I'm too tired to suggest lines to go with it, but if something comes later I'll toss it your way and we'll see what you think of it :)
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