Tuesday July 12th, 2011

The exercise:

Two haiku about: relief.

A friend of Kat's had offered to help out while she was away and she came over to work in the garden tonight for the first time. And you know what? It was great. A lot of work got done and I'm in a much better mood.

And tomorrow morning she's coming by to help me with the first restaurant order of the year.

Good stuff.

Mine:

The pressure is off,
I can breathe easy again;
I won't miss that rock.

*     *     *

That was a close call!
Let's celebrate living with
a massive bender.

8 Comments:

Greg said...

See, you just need the company! Mr. Wriggles would be a perfect companion too, as he could keep various garden pests under control!
I like your first haiku better today, because it's just subtle enough that the reader has to think for a moment to understand it -- definitely the mark of a good haiku.

Relief
The volcano burst,
Which was a relief for it,
But not the city.

-----

Chiaroscuro,
Intaglio; The artist
Just works in relief.

Andrew said...

I think I like your first haiku better too, Greg. And a very creative take on your second haiku Greg! Me likey!

Also, Marc, it probably was him because he like to make bible references like that. And, you know, writing what you expected seems to happen a lot less often than expected. Funny, huh?

***
The hurricane blows,
The whole city knows that soon
They'll have short relief.

The eye of the storm
Hits and calm is seen, but the
Relief is short-lived.

***
Continuation haikus for me today, I guess! Woo!

Also, I'm heading off to a summer camp, so I won't be replying for sure from the 15th to the 20th. I might get to a computer on the 14th and the 21st, and pretty soon after I get back I lose my constant access to a computer, as my parents will return with the passworded one... But I'll reply when I can!

It should work fine on my blog because I can use my Kindle, but on yours it would try to open a second tab to post comments, which doesn't work on there. ;(

morganna said...

Sharp pain -- a burning
Cool water, then aloe gel
Ah, sweet relief!

David said...

Great job all around - although I'm not quite sure I have Marc's first figured out. Perhaps some day.

Check written and mailed
numbers move from place to place
debt gone for today

ominous black clouds
darkness fills the humid air
refreshing shower

Denin said...

Now free from the trap
the deer leaps through the forest
Feeling great relief.

-----------------------------------

Relief is a hawk
soaring past the creamy clouds
bringing you along.

Jackerbie said...

nice haikus all 'round!

Marc, the first time i read your second one through i swear it said blender. you have no idea how confused i was.

David, wish it would rain where i am already! it's been warm and muggy for days, not exactly my kind of summer.


I'm in the air now,
Twenty-two hours away
Are last year's sweet dreams.

A sigh of relief,
my one question is answered:
"Is my bed still there?"

Marc said...

Greg - heh, I was trying to figure out a way to make it more clear but then gave up when the syllables refused to cooperate. Glad they were right :P

Two great haiku, but your first one cracked me up so it wins this week.

Andrew - I like your second one best, that's a great take on the prompt.

Hope you have fun at camp, and that you're able to swing by here as much as possible.

Morganna - aloe is indeed wonderful stuff.

David - I can explain if you like, but I'd be equally happy leaving it up to your interpretation :)

I like the 'numbers move from place to place' in your first haiku.

Denin - great imagery in both of yours. It's a tough call, but I'll go with your second one as my fav this week.

Jack - hahaha, massive blender. I'll have to think about that for a bit and see if I can force it to make sense :P

Glad to hear you still have a bed to sleep in :D

Miss B said...

I feel the relief,
with our rock concert over,
the croud is cheering.

============================

Sit with them always,
Playing together at lunch,
They're there for me.