Monday September 5th, 2011

The exercise:

Tell me a tale about: the safari.

We had orders for a small amount of a lot of different things this week, so even though it seemed like we had a lot of harvesting to do it actually went quite quickly. Never a bad thing.

Mine:

"This is so not a good idea," Emily announced too loudly as we exited our tent.

"You don't say," I replied without looking at her.

"What, like you're okay with riding around in a windowless jeep when there are tigers out there just dying for a bite of our delicious flesh?"

"I don't think that ought to be your biggest concern," I said, wishing they hadn't confiscated my tequila at the border.

"Oh, really?" I couldn't believe her voice was actually capable of reaching a higher octave. "So what, oh brilliant genius friend of mine, should I be worrying about?"

"Just the fact," I said, speaking slowly for her benefit, "that you've gone and mistaken the bottle of barbeque sauce for the suntan lotion again."

3 Comments:

Greg said...

You make the harvesting sound like a nicer trip to the supermarket (or perhaps farmer's market, as I'm growing increasingly fond of the ones near London Bridge): a quick trip around the garden to pick up the things you need, and it's all done!
Poor Emily! I've just recently been told that although the jeeps are windowless, you're not supposed to lean out, or put anything through the windows as that alerts the tigers to the fact that the windows are actually open. So I'm with Emily (although I'm not sharing her 'suntan lotion' even if you paid me!)

The safari
"Why isn't it hot?" Sylvestra poked at the ground with the tip of her Manolo Blahniks. It refused to give. "How can we be on safari if it's not hot. This ground is frozen."
"I thought we were hunting something tame?" said the Green Lightbulb, also prodding the ground with his Manolo Blahniks. Sylvestra was barely containing her rage that they'd both turned up wearing the same shoes.
"This is tundra," said Dr. Septopus wearily, his tentacles flapping about his head as though swatting flies. "It is frozen, because it's permafrost. And we're hunting big game, Green, not anything tame."
"What possible game can you get on ice?" said Sylvestra. "And is Green here as bait then?"
"Child–" Dr. Septopus's voice shot up an octave, and he choked back his words as he tried to get himself back under control.
"Ladies," he said finally, ignoring the twin glares from both Sylvestra and the Green Lightbulb. "We're here as a team-building exercise. We're going to bond with each other. If I'd known you were going to get into the spirit of things I'd have worn the same shoes too."
The only sound was Sylvestra grinding her teeth meaningfully.
"Now," he continued, "we're on safari for the next three days, and I really, really want us to come back with a kill. We're hunting Walrus!"
There was a long silence, broken finally by the Green Lightbulb.
"What with?" he said. "All we took off the jeep was the picnic hamper."

morganna said...

Self-confident rich folk
Adventure in the
Farthest wilds of
Africa
Riding along gaping at
Indigenous wildlife.

Marc said...

Greg - really? I'd be eyeing the other tourists, trying to figure out which dumbass would be hanging his arm out the window. And then I'd get in a different vehicle.

Good to see the gang having fun together. The bits with the shoes cracked me up :)

Morganna - yup, that about sums it up, doesn't it?