Sunday February 1st, 2009

The exercise:

Welcome to February - the month I have to mispronounce in order to spell correctly!

Let's start the month with the prompt: a close shave.

Mine:

I hate shaving. A lot. In fact, if a genie wandered into my living right now and offered to grant me three wishes, my very first wish would be to have full and complete control over my facial hair. I would then proceed to set its growth rate at 1mm per year, except for special occasions where a full beard is required, like Halloween. Or Look Like A Bum Fridays.

If my hair's usual growth rate was normal, I'm sure I wouldn't hate shaving quite so much, but I can grow a full beard in a week. Please note: this is only a slight exaggeration. It's probably closer to two weeks.

Being back at work in an office means I have to make some attempt to be clean shaven pretty much every day - this is extremely annoying. Please note: my girlfriend considers this extremely excellent. Probably not in those exact words, mind you.

Anyway, I'm just grumpy because I just ripped the hair off my face as part of my preparation for the work week starting tomorrow morning. For the record, I'd totally just grow a full beard and avoid the whole process if a) it wouldn't drive me crazy with its itchiness, and b) I didn't want to have a girlfriend.

Seeing as both a) and b) are false, the torture shall continue indefinitely.

4 comments:

Greg said...

Hah! I completely agree with you about shaving. I also have fast-growing beard hair, I can have 5-o'clock shadow by 2pm, noon in summer. I would gladly take a pill daily that suppressed beard growth, if there were such a thing.

I will suggest two things that make it all a bit more bearable: shaving straight after a bath or a shower, when it's softest and easiest to remove, and using a cut-throat razor (which admittedly takes practice) as it gets a closer shave cutting down on how often I have to shave, and it scares people when they see me using it :)

g

Unknown said...

My boyf also hates shaving. Lucky for him, I think he looks cute with his "five o'clock shadow."
:)

Marc said...

Greg - oh, I know the tricks. I still hate it. Though I'm not quite ready to try the cut-throat...

Back when I was shaving with only an electric if I shaved in the morning and wanted to go out that night... I needed to shave again.

Ana - yeah, I can get away with the cute look for a bit. Then I get scratchy and the kisses start decreasing.

mantic59 said...

You might get some benefit from my 'how to shave properly' videos on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/user/mantic59