Sunday September 13th, 2009

The exercise:

Today's starter is: the elements.

Mine:

Water flows like liquid marching feet;
The whirlpools in the stream set the beat,
While the glacier picks the music sheet.

Fire rips and roars like thoughtless words,
Its path as fickle as hungry birds;
Give it a quarter, it takes two-thirds.

Air flies wherever it wants to go,
Do as you please, you can't stop its flow,
And where your breath goes no one can know.

Earth holds its ground and cannot be moved,
Like plans that refuse to be improved.
The sands of time cannot be removed.

4 Comments:

Greg said...

I like the second and third verses of your poem best I think; there's nothing wrong with the other two, but they don't appeal to me quite as much. I like the idea that fire always takes more than it's been offered!

The elements

Indivisibility,
An atomic property
Of all the elements,
And our love.

I thought.

Radioactivity,
A property of some,
But not every one.
And of our love.

That surprised me.

Mutability
Something for the elements
But in no way our love.
Never that.

But no-one told you.

Decomposition,
Splitting the elements
Into their individual parts
Just like us.

Well. Your body at least.

g2 (la pianista irlandesa) said...

They're standalones at the table
Collab with others they're not able
For their outer shells are stable
Aloof are the noble gases.

Heel'yum's found at number two
Used to fill blimps and balloons
Seen in the sun it is, too,
The first of th'noble gases.

Neon's light's oh-so-pretty
When excited by 'lec'tric'ty
18-18's Argon's address-ity
Two more of the noble gases.

Krypton's signature's or'nge'n'green,
it's also most hard to see,
I hope you see what I mean,
Now onto the next noble gas.

Xenon is a heavy one-a,
can be used as anesthesia
that's not also greenhouse gas-a
Just one more noble gas.

Radon is most dangerous
to our health it's hazardous,
And now to add some final-ness
to this noble gas poem.

The prompt involved the elements
And I wrote in a lit'ral moment.
I think it was time well spent.
So ends this 'bout noble gases.
- - - - -
Okay, so I was sloppy with meter, but I wanted to do something with elements... which is tough, considering I didn't take chemistry last year (took physics instead). But! I did remember that there were noble gases, and that helium and neon were two of them! That's gotta count for something!

Marc said...

Greg - I think the second is my favorite.

I love the progression of your poem. That was perfect.

g2 - funny, I was thinking about including some sort of rhyme about noble gases in mine.

I like the repetition/variation of the final lines.

world of experience said...

Impound this old prompt because I used to teach thebelemnts as a psychology.
Love the different takes.
Marc, your understanding has innate psychological comprehension.