Saturday October 3rd, 2009

The exercise:

Kat and I watched The Garden last night, which I should have known would make me angry. And it did, of course, but the garden at the heart of the story was amazing and inspiring.

Anyway, as a result of having seen it this week's four line poem topic is: injustice.

Mine:

As a community we grew so much
From the nothing that stood before;
Now they have returned it to nothing,
And kicked us out the door.

3 Comments:

Greg said...

Ooops, sorry about five lines yesterday. I'd meant to have a semi-colon joining the narrator's two sentences together, but it makes much more sense as two than one. sigh

I've never seen the Garden, but it sound intriguing now! And your poem is great, it really gives across a sense of injustice, and in just four lines!

Injustice

Paneled walls of ancient oak,
A bewigged barrister who rarely spoke,
My only words were "Your honour, must this,
Be quite such a travesty of justice?"

g2 (la pianista irlandesa) said...

Hearing cases, deciding fates,
Judge Collins is my name.
Serving the greater good for all,
I'm in justice, that's my game.
- - - - -
Wow, that was iffy. But I wanted to tweak "injustice" so badly. Well, it's pristine and without edit, just like you want.

But that's about the only good thing you can say about it.

Marc said...

Greg - haha, don't worry about it. I'm just happy to see responses, format be damned!

I quite like the little scene you carved out in your four lines though.

g2 - you know, as soon as I typed the prompt out I thought, 'I bet g2 is going to turn that into 'in justice'...'

So, you can feel good that you made me right :)

Plus, I think you managed it quite cleverly. So there.