Sunday August 29th, 2010

The exercise:

The prompt today is: gunshots.

Inspired by the pointless airguns the vineyard next door is using in an attempt to keep the birds off their grapes. In reality all it does is make them fly up into the air every few minutes and then get back to eating. Oh, and it also does a wonderful job of shattering the peace and quiet.

Today we: successfully froze peppers, beans, cherry tomatoes, and plum tomatoes; we also got some beefsteak tomatoes in the food dehydrator. Mmm, dried tomatoes.

Mine:

Gunshots and babies screaming
Provide the soundtrack to my street.
There ain't no point in dreaming -
The second that you're born you're beat.

We just have two rules to mind:
Shoot or be shot, stab or get stabbed.
The only escape you'll find
Is when you feel the needle jab.

My daddy is behind bars,
My momma's married to cheap wine,
All my friends own busted cars,
And we're all just waiting to die.

6 Comments:

Greg said...

I thought hawks and other birds of prey were better at scaring off crop-predators? Still, I'm sure there's something to be said for feeling like you're living in a warzone. What, exactly, I haven't yet worked out....
Your poem reminds me of one of your entries for one of the poetry competitions; I liked that, and I like this too :)

Gunshots

Outside there are blue skies,
Warm sunshine, and the smell of grass.
Inside, I have parsley and garlic,
Piled together in a fragrant mass.

Then your gunshots tear the air apart.
My cooking stops, and my heart
Skips a beat. Twice.

Your thoughtless, pointless fusillade
Had ruined what would be my persillade.
Twice.

It seems that guns run short of ammo,
My cooking knife stays sharp of course,
So now you're fleeing, wishing you were wearing camo,
And I'm pursuing, suing for divorce.

morganna said...

Marc, very depressing.

Greg, I like yours. Somewhat like mine, actually.

The sound echoed through the air. Matt lifted his head cautiously. Good. She'd missed again. He inched his way forward on his belly, holding the couch cushion in front. He had no illusions about the protection it afforded him, but it seemed to be throwing off her aim. He peeked over the top, trying to see how far he had to go. Just a few more feet, he saw, then he heard a click. He ducked, but there was no shot this time. He hurried forward. Would the luck that brought him a crazy girlfriend also let her run out of ammo? He hoped so. He was almost at the bedroom door now. He heard the chambers snick open, a bullet slid in. He threw himself at the door as it opened from the inside. He rolled in, reaching for her throat. Click.

Samantha said...

Marc, I love it. It really captures the feeling experienced by those in that situation.

Greg, it's so witty. I love the irony.

Morgana, the same. I love the irony in both. I also love the twist at the end of yours. Very suspenseful.


Three gunshots sound through the forest. The trees explode into the sky as birds flee from their haven. Creatures scatter across the forest floor, terrified to face the same fate. Muddy boots trample the foliage with no regard for the beauty they ruin; a small cluster of tiny white flowers is flattened, a young sapling broken. The young buck thrashes and another shot echoes through the forest, his soul lost.

Zhongming said...

Gunshots were heard outside the building, everyone was screaming and trembling in great fear that it might hit them.

Mike saw an opportunity to shoot and he managed to save the 13 year old female hostage from the terrorist hands. The situation is then under controlled, everything went back to normal after about an hour. However, the officer-in-charge of captain mike didn't seem to be too pleased about what he did even though it did save the life of that hostage. 

Officer Tim: Who fired that shot? I never issue any command! Damn! Hey Mike. Don't you know that he had a hostage with him? Why did you pull the trigger without my authorization? I want a clear explanation from you! Get into my office! 

Tim slammed the office hard enough that police on the outside could feel a gust of strong wind and not to mention that sudden loud noise which resemble gunshot.

Heather said...

Marc- Wow! I loved it and hated it. It seemed too honest.

All others- I'm sorry, I just do not have the energy to post comments although I read all of them.
-------

I watched the second hand tick by slowly and my mind wandered to the muggy air just outside. It was probably raining cool drops from heaven. As the second hand stuttered on, I wished I could be there instead of in the windowless room. I'm sure it was for our collective mental safety. Out of sight, out of mind was probably the philosophy behind the picking of this particular bunker.

I sighed heavily, my bangs flitting in the air in response and scribbled a note. 'Gustar-like verbs: first half pronouns must harmonize while verb agrees in number with subject' "Oh God, just shoot me now!" I thought as the teacher continued on.

Marc said...

Greg - funnily enough, there are hawks around here too. But they're obviously not doing a good enough job... or something.

And yeah, it reminded me of my black sheep poem too. Glad you liked both of them :)

I really, really, really love your final stanza. So much :D

Morganna - that's fantastic! Love the dark comedy of the main section and then great drama at the end :)

Samantha - "The trees explode into the sky as birds flee from their haven."

I really like that line. A lot. What great imagery!

The rest is also good, of course, but that line really captured me.

Zhongming - I like the double use of gunshot, both the actual near the start and the door closing at the end. Ties it together nicely, I think.

Heather - thank you!

That was some great misdirection there. I was certainly not thinking of a classroom until the very end!