Sunday August 8th, 2010

The exercise:

Inspired by our first taste of this summer's corn this evening, your prompt shall be: in the corn field.

Today was a day of rest, and the rest was good.

Mine:

We wandered down the row of corn,
Completely lost and unconcerned;
For the sun was high in the sky
And there were lessons to be learned.

Like how to interlace fingers
With the prettiest girl in school:
Don't grip too tightly, nor loosely,
Don't sweat, make sure to play it cool.

And how to talk about nothing
And everything at the same time
Without tripping over your tongue
Or transforming into a mime.

But all too soon the sun fell down,
Forcing us to find our way back,
Slightly wiser and more in love,
To the rest of our high school pack.

4 Comments:

Greg said...

You sound chillaxed in your post, so I guess it's been a pretty good day of rest then! My Sunday was less restful but also relaxing: I was cooking for about 4.5 hours but came away with Chicken Tikka Masala, all the prep for Chicken Katsu Curry (tonight's tea) done, jam tarts and Neenish tarts. I'm eating well at the moment :)

Your poem's really, really good; it's sweet without being cloying, it captures a moment of childhood, mixing innocence with the onset of adulthood; and it comes away with a sense of deep love. Being married is having an effect on you!

In the corn field

The sky is the blue of cobalt,
A vast arched vault
In which the furnace of the sun burns
As yellow as the corn down below,
As unforgiving as the Goddess.
It hangs motionless in the sky.
Demeter howls, surrounded by the haulms,
Tearing up a fury of ears,
And raging for the loss of a child.
She's been screaming for hours
And though the harvest is overdue
No-one dares approach; no-one dares to pray,
Demeter's loss is one mankind will share.
And the corn will ever afterwards
Bear the marks of the Goddess's fury,
As a further reminder of what was done.

Zhongming said...

In the corn field

A field full of corn,
Green, yellow and brown,
I saw a slight movement,
When the gentle wind kisses them.

Watching them from afar,
Behind the wooden stand,
I slowly peeled a corn
And get them in my form.

As the wind blew,
I forget about my sorrow;
Dropped deep into the breeze, While looking right at the bees.

Marc said...

Greg - and... you've made me hungry again. Damnit!

Glad you enjoyed mine, I was quite pleased with how it turned out. I don't think married life has changed me much, other than introducing a tendency to refer to Kat as my wife a whole lot :P

That's a very powerful poem. I think I liked best the part about the harvest being late but nobody daring to approach. That's just a neat little detail that many would overlook, I think.

Zhongming - that's a very peaceful, meditative scene in your poem. I found it very relaxing :)

Zhongming said...

Marc - Thanks!