Thursday June 18th, 2009

The exercise:

The starter today is: multitasking.


This is just too bizarre not to share.

There is only one men's washroom on my floor at work, with a single stall and a single urinal. I think this is ridiculous for the number of men on the floor but I'll save that rant for another time. I was in the stall after lunch today, "making use of the facilities" and thinking. That's my multitasking for this story. I don't even remember what I was thinking about. Oh, yes I do. It was this Family Guy clip I watched last night.

Anyway. While I'm there someone else enters the washroom. After a few moments I hear the sound of teeth being brushed and then footsteps. Okay, brushing your teeth and walking, I can deal with that kind of multitasking. Oh, if only this story ended there.

See, those footsteps? They were leading to the urinal. And the brushing? Yeah, it kept going. And was soon accompanied by sounds of a more... tinkling nature.

There are no circumstances that I would ever be under where this kind of multitasking would seem like a reasonable thing to do. I'm trying not to think about the details too much.

I feel like I should apologize for sharing this. But I know there has to be at least one person out there who got a laugh out of it, so apology withheld.


Greg said...

Definitely no apology needed, that's an astonishing story! I wouldn't multi-task like that myself, but I've seen enough odd behaviours from people that I think that's at the saner end of the 'deranged' scale.

Just as a heads-up, I've read the Gift of Fire and really liked it -- I've left a comment for it on your Creative Outlet.


Dr. Septopus peered through the skylight in the bank's roof at the dimly lit gallery below. One of his seven tentacles, the thickest, was coiled around the decorative iron railing that ran around the edge of the roof, ready to support his weight as he lowered himself through the skylight. Another tentacle gripped a glass-cutter, and a third the vacuum plunger that would pull the cut glass up and lay it on the roof. Tentacles four and five were securely tying nylon rope about his waist, six was holding a diver's knife, and the seventh was holding a lit cigarette to calm his nerves.
Dr. Septopus had never tried using all seven tentacles for anything other than running away before. He was finding the mental concentration required for such multitasking difficult.
The nylon rope pulled tightly around his waist making him squeak slightly and his eyes water. The glass cutting tentacle veered sideways, and he tried to pull his third tentacle out of the way of the sharp blade. That was still gripping the vacuum plunger, and with an horrendous cracking sound a large piece of glass broke out of the skylight. Glass dust and lethal shards plummeted and tinkled on the floor below.
Dr. Septopus recoiled from the piece of glass coming towards him and jabbed the diver's knife into the tentacle holding his to the railing. Tentacles flailing wildly and his beak clacking anxiously he plunged through the skylight and landed on the gallery floor with a squelch. His cigarette, still lit, flew from his seventh tentacle and landed in a brown, dry pot plant. As the flames started to lick up the trunk of the plant Dr. Septopus vowed to develop some better coordination skills.

Crazy Mo said...

Marc, that was hilarious! See ... truth IS stranger (and often more interesting) than fiction.

* * *

sort the darks, from the lights, start making plans for dinner
scrub the counter, wash the dishes, dust the living room
slice tomatoes, chop the onions, add softener to the wash
feed the cat, pick up toys, take the garbage out

check for emails, send replies, stir the bubbling sauce
let the cat out, change the litter, write a thank you note
help with homework, kiss a scraped knee, turn the dryer on
set the table, wash small hands, hang the school award

family dinner, share some stories, let the cat back in
clear the table, finish homework, mend some holey socks
one more email, straighten den, supervise the bath
read a story, say a prayer, start again tomorrow

Marc said...

Greg - the return of Dr. Septopus! So excited.

Chaotically great scene - that was some serious multitasking going on there :)

Crazy Mo - haha, glad you enjoyed it :)

And that sounds like one hell of a busy day. Busy... but satisfying, I hope?